I'm really done with this bipolar thing, I'm fed up of it's impact on my life! I've had a really bad week, this is the first really bad week I've had since I started school. My obligations have been pulling me through, but even those I've been slacking on lately. There's no one around me who makes me feel like I'm worth it and I'm definitely not worth it to myself. Therapy doesn't work, I've had little luck with drugs and I'm starting to realize how hopeless this all is. The reason my mother gives me for not killing myself is that she would kill herself if I killed myself. Right now that doesn't seem like such a bad plan because then there'd be two crazy people no one would have to deal with anymore. I'm sick of crying out for help to people who don't understand and who I'm too embarrassed to explain it to because then they'd realize just how nuts I actually am. Then again, I guess I really don't have to worry about them leaving because none of them are around much anyways. And this is all the same stuff someone else was crying about on here another day... are we all really that alike? Why are there so many of us? I make barely any connections and those I do make are usually a let down anyways. I have no options left to save myself with, this has all happened before.
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