I have been doing research into Bipolar for a while now, but what I can't find is a classification that I fit under. I try to keep a journal with my highs and Lows but it just isn't working. When I feel good I sometimes get WAY to busy to even think about writing it down. Yet, when I get low I just don't have the . . ability to pull my butt off the couch or bed to do anything but take care of my kid. I will tell myself I'll do it tomorrow when I feel better. But like today when I feel neither great or crappy I can't remember what the hell when on with my moods for the last few days. I know I was Beyond depressed for a couple days but when I got better is kinda hazy because I just went like a shot. I think I got all of five hours sleep but I can't be sure. This is so infuriating. I have an app. on the 7th and only like two entries in my journal. I know what will happen when I go in to the doc too. He'll ask, "So how's it going?" and I"ll say either "Um, ok" or "Great I feel great today." or "OMG I'm so depressed I didn't even want to come today." I do the same thing with regular docs too. I'll be really sick but if I go in when I am in a high I'll tell them I don't need to be there and whatever it is that I went in for in the first place will escalate to the point of being almost fatal. I had to be hospitalized for a routine infection that I just didn't go in for. I was working two full-time jobs at the time and I just kept going. (prior to diagnosis of BP) When I finally collapsed at a friend's house she took me into the ER. They kept me there for three days all hooked up to machines and whatnot. I don't want to get worse. I don't think the pills are working but I can't be sure. I have no clue what to do. My husband is helpful but he can be more forgetful than I am. (ADHD) So now what? BLEH! !
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