Since moving to my new "independent senior home", I have been vilified and targeted right from day one. I have been here two years. Neighbors came forward and asked lots of questions and, I, wanting to fit in, perhaps gave too much information about myself. Most of the neighbors have large families, friends, some are still working, have wealth and are in a tight knit group with other tenants here and have been for over 20 years. They wear makeup, wear the latest fashion of clothing, lots of jewelry and most have very strong personalities. I don't wear anything comparable to this. They complain about my hair, I cut my own hair as I cannot afford to go to a stylist.
Now, I am shunned, set apart, gossiped about meanly, aggression displayed towards me. A plant I kept on my front door shelf got cut up, my items on my front door shelf got stolen. I no longer hang wreaths. People knocking on my front door all hours of the night (could be the Alzheimer's here) So, that's what's happening in my home. I now keep my home spotless and ultra clean.
I no longer participate in community activities and do not go outside my apartment except for doctors appts, where I flee as fast as I can out the front door. I am now wearing headphones attached to my iphone to show that I will not engage with my neighbors. I am trying to build a life worth living outside where I live now.
Because I am on Section 8, disabled, have no family at all, no close friends, no wealth, no longer work nor own a car, and let it slip that I had an abusive spouse that put me in a DV Shelter, revealing all this, may have caused the gossip to flourish. However, as my background was in investative work, they come to me seeking answers about people here they all want to get rid of, which I won't do. They have scheming parties of which I was invited to when I first moved here and never went back.
One tenant here felt that because I am on Section 8 (Housing Choice Voucher) means I have been Section 8'd, meaning in the old series of "Mash" a person that was put under Section 8, meant they are crazy, hence the rumor that I am under Section 8, as my mental health dictates. One tenant advertised that perhaps I should move to a long term mental health facility and that spread around. Then next, that I was incarcerated and because I was keeping out of sight for long periods of time, they wanted to believe I committed a crime.
Last week, when I was playing Bingo in my building, everytime I won, the person who was running the game, would approach me, look me in the eye and drop my winnings on the floor all the while watching me. I only won twice. I also brought coins to play and she knocked them on the floor and said that coins are not allowed here, only dollar bills. I could have left, but I played out the entire game, left the money on the floor and left quickly. I will never play again
Since declaring bankruptcy I have to rebuild my credit history so new places to rent will see I have re-established good credit. So, I'm stuck here for the next two years.
This targeting of me is intense and occurs almost daily. It is affecting every aspect of my life now. I brought this to the attention of my property manager and her only comment is that this is an "independent senior home" and she will do nothing about it.
I feel trapped, having no quality of life, nothing to really normalize me. So, I sit frozen in my recliner waiting for the next attack. I am afraid the history of the opinion of my vet will follow me to the next clinic I see care for him. Other than keeping my home spotless and staying in my home and not participating in community activities here is the only way I will survive this ordeal.
This is the one my therapist gave me. It has a botttom part which is just space for notes for each day of the week and a small summary.
I didn't pass my test to get in the program for school to become a physical therapist assistant. I have one more shot at it before I send in my application. I plan to study for it over the break and then take it again but I'm so afraid I'll fail again and not be able to get in the program. This is what I really want to do in life. Failing the first time sent me in a spiral of depression and...