My hubby always says to me, there is nothing worse than a good excuse!
You have to be strict with yourself and yes it is hard to not use it as an excuse, but you will know deep down when it\s the real reason and when it's just you wanting to get out of something.

Fazer is brilliant!! Yes, you will know when it's just you wanting to get out of something. Set goals for yourself and meet them. They don't have to be HUGE goals, but something to strive for, where you can see the end result.

When I'm really sinking in to depression it's sometimes hard for me to make goals. Baby steps work though. Making lists of things with deadline dates helps too. Even if it's just little things for a while.

this really doesn't address your question, but the word lazyness stuck out at me. For years I put myself down feeling, why am I so lazy. My mother would say I was lazy. Eventually, I learned that most all of it had nothing to do with lazyness. I suppose that by my being offended at being referred to as lazy in the first place, made me fight it. The inability to do all the things I thought I should be able to do, that was my definition of lazy. I now know to be more realistic. If I accomplish 3 things out of 5 on a list, I'm doing my best. This disease made me have very low self esteem for a long time because I thought I was just lazy. Funny, nobody ever calls me lazy when I'm manic !

thankyou but i want a job but im scared my disease is gonna get in the way and im gonna get a bad rep from it

Why don't you try starting with a simple job doing something you enjoy. For me that would be working part-time in a book store. I just love books and it would be heaven to be surrounded by them while I work and telling others about them.

thats a hard one for me cuz my thing is photography

You are already changing the pattern by reaching out to us for support. You don't have to be like your mom because you have learned from her mistakes which is a good thing. As for the job, I try to take it one day at atime so I don't get overwhelmed and all caught up in the "what if's". Sometimes I have to take it one moment at a time. We are all here for you and I thank you for giving me hope for the younger generation. xoxoxo

I just tell myself that I am in control of my behavior. I have bipolar but bipolar dosnt have me. The issue I have is using my bipolar against me. This is something my husband often does. Drives me bonkers!

Honey, I admire you for recognizing that you could use your disorder as an excuse. It takes alot of maturity just to admit it is possible. The first thing to assure yourself of is that bipolar disorder is not who you are but something you have. It is possible to teach yourself coping skills and talents for a lifetime. It is hard when we are raised with someone giving us an example to break the cycle. But it can be done. I have done it with many cycles in my family. It takes hard work and diligence. Therapy is very important to learning all you can about yourself and your disorder and how to live with it. Live your life as if you dont have the disorder. Live your life seeking your gifts, because you have many. This disorder can be a gift for some, so start out seeing it that way. Look for all the gifts it offers you and enrich your life with them. You know what you have so research it and understand it, but more importantly know "yourself". You can be and will be strong through this if you keep your focus on the positive and being the best you can be.

You are already a step ahead, you know how you want to lead your life...that's more than many can say. It has takes me 4 years now to realize that all you need to be is...YOU, and whatever that entails. I have also realized that not everyone you meet needs to hear about your disease. Hearing about ilness, any illness brings anyone down. BP is not something I talk about at a cocktail party.

this is what my pdoc tells me all the time.. TRY IT!!!!!!!!! make urself do it.... u will never know... and if u really cant do it then u will know u cant its not goin to be some lame excuse... but yeah Fazer was riht..only u know what the real reason is... good luk to you

Shelly, I enjoyed your comments so much! What you suggested is what I have done, I felt like I couldn't battle the enemy(bp) if I didn't know him, so I armed myself with books and went about informing myself with everything that I could find to win this fight. I wish I could find niche where I would fit in the world again, something that I could wake up every morning and look forward to doing, I have tried many things (jobs) and it all gets to overwhelming and I can handle the job related stress,the faking it when the anxiety sets in, but I keep looking and looking.

You are 17....why are you needing to think about getting a job?
At 17,it's your job to finish school,maybe think about college ,or tech school...and of course ,getting better.

I feel a great deal of concern and worry for you..where the hell are the adults in this situation?
it's not your time to be worring about WORK..it's time to be getting better ,and finisshing school!

If you want to work,try working part time at a print shop,or custom frame shop...at least you'll be moving in the direction of photography....My little town has a custom photography studio,maybe you could work as a set up assistant...but finish school..OK!!
Good luck