am i the only one that when itn becomes too much , suicide becomes the only answer , cause it feels like im always fightin it , my mind is taken over by these thought n i cant stop them , it feeels like the only way to stop the pain, is to dissapear , even though i know this would be hard for my kids but wouldnt it be better for them in the long run surely it would it would be easier for them to deal with now than later , cause for me it feels like it is only a matter of time before im sucessful at it anyway , im so tired of fightin againsyt it i really wanna just let go n then the pain goes too, im sorry this post is exactly christmassy and upliftin , but i dont know where else to go x
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