I went for second appointment with public services pdoc yesterday at which we were supposed to proceed with admitting me to hospital. I had told her about my isolation during the last several years, the few bouts of mania, the long months of depression, constant suicidal ideation several suicide attempts and a currently acctive suicide plan for mid/end of july having checked that my life assurance will pay out, made my funeral wishes known and tidied up my affairs as much as i can without drawing too much attention to it. she added in 1mg risperdal to my meds last week and increased the prozac from 40 to 60. with some sense of relief at finally confessing all and asking for and being given help, i then organised time off work, came clean with the kids as to the situation (they were so happy that i was getting actual help) I even went to the salon and got my matted hair sorted and the three inches of grey recoloured! I live in dresses, i don't possess casual clothes so i arrived back for my appointment with my freshly done hair and my nice dress and she Pdoc immedicately put it down to the meds working even though I told her it was relief that I was finally going to get some help. I told her I had cut three times during the week to get relief and to prevent suicide and that i was happy to be admitted as i did not feel safe to be alone at home. My son collected Mo on Tuesday. she refused to believe anything i said and insisted that the improvement was the meds and that i was not depressed and no longer needed to be admitted and she would see me next thursday. I left in a daze and went to my GP who unfortunately was in a hurry to a meeting and just said 'i give up'. he did not know what to do either. he was shocked that i had not been admitted even though the pdoc had agreed that i was still suicidal. my daughter was stunned when i told her about what happened and said 'so basicially you have to try to kill yourself before they'll treat you, that is so fckn stupid.'this pdoc is leaving and going back to croatia after next thursday and the next week a new one (a woman from south africa) is due to start. my question is should I bother giving her a chance? At this point all i want to do is cut and cut and then cut some more. I dont know anymore how to stay alive until july.
Hi everyone.I just joined after desperately goggling for info and support.Im having excrutiating anxiety, panic and flashbacks.Im alone and could use support from those who understand the hell Im experiencing.I have pets and must ride this out by myself.I tried to talk to my pastor who just doesnt get it.Thank you . All i want to do is breathe
hello, I am 21 years old and I’m currently unemployed. In the past I haven’t had any successful relationships and I’ve been hurt by many guys at a young age. For a while I was reckless and I wanted to feel good about myself no matter what negative affect it had on others. I slept around with a lot of guys in hopes of being wanted. In hopes of finally having a successful relationship. The...