Its has been a really long time since I have been here. In more than one way. I was diagnosed and hospitalized almost 2 years ago. I learned to be better, so well I think I fooled myself. I take my medication regularly like I am suppose too, but in the past year I have been slowly detraining. I live for my work, which l love. But know my mental status is affecting my job. I was written up for uneven temperament. I am back in the mental state I was in beforeFor the first time in 2 years I have wondered why I still try when everything I do falls apart. I got a tattoo that means hope, so that I never forget where I was and how far I have comebut I am right back where I was. I dont understand why everything is falling apart again. Why dont I just get better? Why do I keep making the same mistakes? Why do I keep getting worseI had bad thoughts for the first time in a long time.
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