In the end it is your body. You would be the one carrying and caring for you and baby. It is alot of work, they are worth it though, I cannot lie, but if you feel you do not want to have children, he needs to respect that. He's known it for some time i'm sure.

I agree with tracy, it's your body and your right. I thought I was the only woman on earth who felt the same way about not wanting children.

With all due respect, how do you plan on having a child if he is in jail?

I would say, you get past it by sticking to you guns and telling him what you want.

Then get a dog.

You could concider adoption if your worried about passing on your BP genes. Personally I think all kids are wonderful.... you could be normal and have a baby and it ends up with down syndrom or is autistic or many many other flaws. I think that genetics isnt the main reason to focus on not having kids... be vigalent yes but not the number one reason... now going off meds that maybe an issue... I guess it depends on where you are at in your skills and stability.

Adoption is a good way to go because you can adopt a child that needs a home. If caring for a very young infant is a problem you could adopt an older child say 5 or 6. There are just to many kids that need good homes to turn your back on parenting because you decide your genes arent fit to pass on. Now your frame of mind might be a reason to concider not becomeing a parent...

and as for the breed or not to breed... I often ask my husband if he loves me... or why he loves me.. and then I chime in with the responce "even with all my mental problems?" and he always says yes... well the other day I asked him why and he said because they are a part of you and they help make you who you are and I love you just the way you are. So I am happy my mom had me... I dont regret being put on this earth even with all the bad crap I have been throught

buggy, uh, I really don't think adoption is an option for someone with a criminal record or for someone diagnosed with a mental disease....nice thought though.

Yeah I think baggy is right...I can't even get life insurance.

I saw on the news a month or so ago that China has recently changed their adoption requirements...adopting parents can not have a mental disease or be obese.

I'm with you. My husband and I decided not to have children and I have a cousin that has also made the same decision due to the bipolar that most definetly runs in our family. We love our little doggies and they are our babies. Some way who will just have to convey these fears to your husband, and if he loves you he will understand

the fact that you are thinking about the risks and concern about what may be passed onto your child shows that you will be loving parents. whatever you choose, know that a child is a large commitment. but ulitmately the choice is something BOTH of you should make, as BOTH of you will be sharing the responsibility for that child.

I think it is perfectly ok if you don't want to have a baby. Maybe when he gets out of jail you can sit him down and once and for all explain to him that you don't want one and that you don't want to discuss it anymore.

It is perfectly normal for you not to want to be a mother nor risk the chance of passing along any type of physical or mental ailment to your children. I have read your profile and given the age of your spouse and the age difference between the two of you, could it be a possibilty that your hubby might think that a child will cement your relationship? I dont have any clues on your profile that would make me think that but it could be an option given the dynamics of your marriage. In the long run, dont become a mom if you dont want to for any reason. It would not be good for the baby.