Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

5,409 Members
124,291 Posts
4 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

To Be or Not To Be

Halterbroke
Halterbroke
I have a couple of friends now who reached their 30's and had millions of dollars at their disposal in their businesses, and were spectabulous at what they did, real shooting stars, families and kids and lost it all to BP.

I always thought my life was pretty miserable because I never really had a chance. Just when things should have been taking off for me, I got shot in the eye... I succeeded at college despite my affliction but by age 22, my brain was pretty well cooked.

So...which is worse? To have it all and lose it all and know you lost it all? Or to know you MIGHT have Been Someone and have the rug yanked out from under you before ever getting to be a grown up?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm not sure how to answer that. I think they both suck, but in different ways.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think the worst of all is the lose the confidence that you would have what it takes to start over
deleted_user
deleted_user
From what I've seen & read- 1-they are both tough..but I think people who have spectacular success with career & the rest of it & lose it through psychotic ep's or breakdown or whatever are huge suicide risks until they reconcile with their loss..and many do not ie/die.
deleted_user
deleted_user
so agree with #2
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do envy people who develop BP later in life though, halter...after they've got the big stuff under their belt...that might sound weird..but when dx at 17 I had to come to terms with never in any likelihood being able to have children etc (because of severity of my bp)..tough stuff at that age.
deleted_user
deleted_user
For me the achievements are something i should be proud of but only feel bitter about.
I suspect having BP is what got me so far in my career and is def what took it all away...I am jealous when I hear how my friends (old work buddies) are at the top of the ladder with brains that function with ease and wealthy.

The later onset slope has had a shocking gradient.

So I resent having lost what I had.
deleted_user
deleted_user
O this is so close to home!! I also feel that just when life gave me the opportunity to grow up and really live life I made some, what now seems to be the case, wrong choices and ended up being diagnosed BP and losing it all. Both are tough situations, I haven't experienced the first but i can tell you the 2nd one really hurts, its tormenting.
deleted_user
deleted_user
With bp I have had many experiences that never would have happened. My problem was I would get damn good at what I did and get bored and leave. Than I would find something else to master. The only reason I have been in my last career is i have a family to support. Right now tho we are renovating our place and putting them on the market to sell, pay everything off and take the rest and move to another place and start a totally different job.
Looking forward to the challenge.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Always try your best shot, then there are no regrets.

I find I have become less materialistic the older I get.
2Fast2KeepUP
2Fast2KeepUP
I constantly stay in a state of regret over all the things, I coulda, shoulda, woulda on a personal level, but I have a husband that loves me, kids that call me even tho they've moved from home and grandchildren that think I hung the moon. I might not have a dime in the bank and there are many bad days, but over all I'll take what I got!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have the "I coulda been a contenda" bp. Been bp since toddlerhood according to my pdoc. But I have this ridiculous IQ. So what? I'm on disability. Who gets the benefit? I think knowing you have potential and not being able to use it is demoralizing at best. I can't judge between the two. Don't know what it's like to be on top.
deleted_user
deleted_user
With the exception that I was outstanding academically at least.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Interestingly, there is apparently not a great deal of correlation between those who were prodigiously gifted when young & 'success' in life. It's only one component, after all, I guess. ..Speaking for self, did pretty well academically, to toot my own horn but am pretty fucked up overall with this BP biz
storiesmom
storiesmom
Never regret-there's always another day to try again. Life is a journey-take the ride.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hear ya lou2. You know what I've been going through. I'm moody, screwed up with verbal skills. Hip, Hip Hooray!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: lovesloons
    11
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
  • ldab

    Gabapentin help anyone?

    Posted by: ldab
    Last Reply: kona50
    13
    I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...