Up and down and up and down. dammit. one minute I am feeling ok... normal level then wham I am let down or things change and then my brain immediately takes everything as a rejection before I can even stop my thought process I feel like crap and sad. I hate it. I wish I could stop the train of thought before it even gets to my emotions. Things happen, in the back of my brain I know essentially I am ok, but there are times when things change, plans get cancelled and then wham I feel worthless and rejected. One side of me is like whatever and then the other side feels sad and vulnerable.. there is a word ! I am ranting because I hate the roller coaster. My meds have been adjusted. I just dont like being tired. I gotta follow my dosage... there i said it. it is out in the open... no more covering up. i take my meds religiously but not always the same dose. i dont like the tiredness that I get when i have too much zyprexa but i gotta take it. so i will try to take it from now on... thanks for listening and have a great day..
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