Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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This is so hard

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am having such a hard time...my doctor appointments keep getting pushed back and I am finally ready to get the help I need...I have been diagnosed for 15 years and I havent been on meds for about 10 years...I hate what I have done to everyone in my life especially my boyfriend who broke up with me 5 days ago because I was making his life harder...Im not mad at him but my life is so hard on my own I really wish he would have stuck around...he said he understands my bp but he doesnt fully and how could he...I hate this totally alone feeling I have all the time and I miss him so much I want to die...I want to be me again and the reason I havent been on meds is because I dont want to lose who I am but if I am not me off them either I dont know if there is any me left
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is a common fear; that somehow going on medications will rob you of your personal identity but the good news is that it won't. It takes awhile to get used to the idea but speaking personally; I have not one iota of my creativity, passion and drive. The difference is that the debilitating symptoms of depression and mania are somewhat stifled, enough that I can function on most days. I'm sorry for your loss, I've gone through the same thing and it can leave you feeling empty, lonely and lost. You are not alone in this and you have made a good step here in reaching out for support. You may want to post this on the General Board so you will get more responses as often these areas of the board are neglected. All of these things you are experiencing are part of the Bipolar package and also part of the recovery process. It is good that you have made the decision to get the help you need and although it is a frightening process there will be some reward on the other side of it. You will get your life back and become who and what you wish to be. Others don't understand us and how could they unless they also suffer from BP and that is unfortunate. So much stigma and misunderstanding out there.
Don't feel alone because you are not and I pray that you are able to recover and feel better about yourself and life. You are in my prayers. Feel free to reach out anytime you are feeling poorly, this board is a wonderful place. Above all, be well and know that you are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I completely sympathize with you because I am still struggling with the fact that this condition will be with me for the rest of my life. It is quite overwhelming and shocking at the same time when it hits you. The only advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. I almost lost my marriage and my three beautiful kids, but I am back together with my husband and children, and I am so grateful to God for that. Hang in there, hang on!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is a hard time for you right now for sure but things will get better.If the Dr you are seeing is not working out call around and see how soon you can get in w/ someone else.As for the med thing sweetie we all struggle with it at some point.(or if you are like me many points lol) I am doing so now after being med free a long time.Maybe call your Dr and say I need to be seen NOW and see if that helps.Sometimes you have to be firm w/ them or you fall thru the cracks.(((HUGS)))
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