Because my car is old and no longer dependable, I have no way to get to my pschologist. I love her dearly and have been seeing her for over 8 years. I sent her an email about it 2 weeks ago. She wrote back and said she could refer me to someone in my city where I would be able to take the bus. I still have not responded to her. I haven't talked about it to my friends or in my journal. I'm just shoving it down, not wanting the CHANGE. But, it seems to be surfacing. I have tremendous social anxiety. The thought of meeting someone new and starting over is killing me. It brings me to tears. I know I won't be able to get through the first visit without being a big baby and crying for stupid reasons. I don't understand why I live with this fear. The ativan will not be enough to help me. Crap, to be honest with you, I just had to change medical drs. and cried like a fool. Thank God he was understanding. I have my second visit with him on Saturday. I don't see my pdoc for another month, so I don't feel that I have to act right away with getting a new pschologist. I'm so messed up about it. Tear roll down my face now as i type about it. It's such a great, unfounded, intense fear.
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