Here I am, As I keep thinking about not thinking. As I approach the second anniversary of my second husband's suicide. I was there...so you know it wasn't pretty. And I remember ppl kill themselves or ppl..not the gun. I think I may have gotten thru this a little better and bam..here comes VA Tech. I am not saying what happened to me was worse or better...just did not need the trigger. And the irony? my husband used a 9 mil and a 22 semi...lovely. My children are telling me I am having a mood change...grumpy is the agreed word. I want to get thru the next 7 days in relative peace. The aniversary date is april 25th. I started taking an antianxiety pill, but think it could be a little stronger. How do I feel? not manic and not depressed...you know...the lala land...why am I writing? cause I guess sometimes I come across here as helpful, hopeful and somewhat cheery...but not today.
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