Before I was dx with bp I thought if I could just control my thoughts and actions I would be ok. But when I got dx I came to find out my thoughts and "character flaws" were my bp and my meds are controlling most of the bad stuff now.

Well, I THOUGHT it was completely a conscious decision ...I mean one day something BAD happened and I was like I am not going to get depressed I am going to be Manic and I was...

Now though maybe because I decided my brain is just going to do what it wants and I am not going to have any input on what it decides that i am just on a ride... and you know what I am....

Now i am depressed and writing sarcasticly and you what I Don't care....

I guess that is the point in life to decide once and for all you are and therefore you exist and you are here to just watch.

I am just going to watch for awhile. Its more comfortable to just watch no active role no worrying when will this change...

I am here for its own sake of being here where ever here is.

I think we can but it takes alot of work and determination.
Possible I believe so.

I think that if you are ALWAYS conscious of your actions and reactions you can control your thoughts and behaviors, but wouldn't that be exhausting? And part of our disease is irrational thoughts, emotions and behaviors, so is it possible to always be fully aware for a BP? Hmmmmm..... good topic, Sammy!

Last week I learned the word "deliberate."

Now I see the word, "determination."

I am working on raising my self-esteem so where is the link between the two?

Is there a pill for it? lolol

PET scans show physical differences in the brains of "normals" and people w/disorders like BP, schitzophrenia. Overactive Limbic Systems cause havoc. You can do things to cheer up or to calm down (deep breathing, biofeedback, exercise) but your brain is different. That's why meds do help so many of us. There is no cure but there are ways to deal. Don't stress yourself trying to "think happy thoughts." I am a Veteran, in my mid-50s & tried that until I was off the deep end at 45. It's not your fault.

SammySue you summed it up perfectly.The breathing is so important.
Just to reach a natural level of breathing is a milestone.For a while, I was analysing every move my body made physically and mentally.Like having microphones and sensors set up all over me.
It was terrible but passed eventually.

Before being diagnosed, I would sit down on the couch feeling crappy, the next thing I knew 3 hrs had passed and I didn't know where they went. I'd still be sitting there in the same spot. Was kind of scary.

Very good observation Sue, I also find myself not breathing at times when my thoughts are really racing. I always thought that breathing was an non voluntary action. Maybe the BP mind gets moving so fast it diverts enegry from breathing, heart beating, and other non voluntary brain activity??? I also find my heart racing after it feels like it stopped beating for a few seconds during racing thoughts. I thought these were panic attacks.

Ron

WHY THE HECK DOES BREATHING HAVE TO BE A THOUGHT FOR ME?????!!!!!!

I have to remind my self to breath or be reminded. I think it's a fight or flight thing. The following statment is sarcastic: I just love it when I'm in public and suddenly gasp for breath.

Fight or flight, hmmmm. Interesting...

Wow. This happens to me, too. I never put it together.

My pdoc and physical therapist, says it is so important to breatth. Sometimes whenim excersing, I catch myself not breathing. Says when you take deep breaths and release them, you are releasing carbon monoxide and toxcin. So I try to remember to take deep breaths several times daily. May sound silly , but that is what i was told. *BREATH DEEPLY*....... LOL :)

My younger son (29) is a beeper. On a scale of 1-10, he's probably about a 7. He refused to seek out help, because he's convinced that he can control it on his own.
He gets mad at me for using 'crutches' and thinks I should get off my meds.
hmmm. don't know how that fits here, excatly, but it seemed like it did, at the time.