Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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deleted_user 02/12/2007

This may be long-winded, but I really need some perspective. I was on disability for ten years for my BP, then I went back to work for three solid years(never was late or called in sick).
Recently I moved and sought a job in my field. The first interview I went on I definitely would have had the job because I was more than qualified. Problem is I started yelling at the guy for like five minutes(the reason is unimportant) and walked out.
The second interview at a different place I was hired. After a day and a half I started yelling at the manager for like five minutes in front of everyone and I quit/was fired.
Now I'm afraid to go anywhere. I'm so irritable and I really believe when I'm yelling at someone that they deserve it. Problem is I seem to yell at everyone. What is wrong with me? I'm thinking of going back on disability cause no one is going to put up with my Sh%$t!
Any advice?

deleted_user 02/12/2007

What are you angry about? Don't say you don't know.
Nothing is wrong with you for yelling, because then there would be something wrong with me!
You are upset and scared about what?(opinion)
You moved to a different state and started a job after 10 years. You are also very brave!!!
Have you found a dr., a counselor, whatever you do for sanity?
It was a mountain climb to start a new job!
Where is your support?
Why did you leave NY?
I am brand new and do not know you. I hope something I said helps. Crazy in AZ

deleted_user 02/12/2007

Rcat-

I agree it is probable that there are underlying anger issues that must be dealt
with perhaps with a Psychologist. But,
perhaps, discussing this with your Psychiatrist is needed, as this could
merely be a symptom of BP, and a sign that your meds are not at a therapeutic
level.

deleted_user 02/12/2007

Hmmmm...Well, you are right that the reason is unimportant. You're temper got in the way regardless. I don't know if you would want to get back on disability, you have already shown that you are more than capable to hold down a job and that is GREAT! I have a temper as well---but don't yell much anymore. I guess I learned how much trouble it could get me into. I would definetly check with your pdoc-don't sound quite right to be that explosive...Hang in there and if you want to talk-I'm around. Jess

deleted_user 02/12/2007

I left NY to get away from the insanity there.( Traffic, congestion )And my baby just graduated college so nothing was holding me anymore.
My Dr here doesn't know me, I've seen him once. I don't have a therapist.
I thought I may be short-fused because of hypomania because my thoughts are very racy and I can't stay focused on anything. When I talk, my thoughts are way faster than my mouth can talk.
But maybe I'm just an angry person.

MayB 02/12/2007

Wow has this been an issue in the last year for me...I'm surprised in a way that anyone is still talking to me. It turns out that I have been in a mixed state for over a year caused by the anti-depressant Wellbutrin and did that turn the volume up on my anger and irritability. Now that I'm off that medication I can't tell you how different everything feels...nothing makes me angry. Any possibility that a medication could be amping things up? Secondly I did take an anger management course and one of the useful things I learned is that when we are angry all our focus goes on someone else and drains away from oursselves so we loose our ablility to be objective real fast....How has you mood been? Any chance there's a mixed state happening? As in an energized depression?

deleted_user 02/12/2007

Could be, I have no idea what's going on.
I'm confused. Maybe I'm not BP, just wacko.
Maybe I shouldn't be on any meds.

deleted_user 02/12/2007

How do you go from being on top of the world one second to doom, gloom, and anger the next.

deleted_user 02/15/2007

Just by being BP. Been there, done that!

deleted_user 02/16/2007

OMG I feel like I am looking in the mirror. I was trying to do a career change. I already have 2 post graduate degrees...guess I needed 3 more letters after my name...a little obssessive compulsive I suppose...but that never happened...point is..I went on one interview...and the interviewer was young enough to be my daughter..and she is telling me I have to pass the CPA exam to get a Job...and she barely graduated college...I am telling some anecdote during the interview...and my mind moved so much faster than my mouth that I completely lost my train of thought and felt like a total idiot, but I was totally pissed that 2 post graduate degrees were not good enough esp for a job that I was going to get approx 50% pay cut.

And as far as being on top of the world one second and suicidal the next...I do that on a daily basis...well maybe not daily...but it can happen in a second...but my dogs always save me...when I met my husband he had a pistol..and I told him...no guns in the house...but he had this whole 2nd amendment thing goin. anyway so I kearned how to shoot it...but I am pretty sure he took the bullets out to be sure I don't do anything stupid...but there are days I am hysterical and have it in my lap...and then one of the dogs comes in...and its usually the deaf one we rescued...and I think who is going to take care of them? so I put it away and hug the dog and cry some more...I guess guys don't cry...but I get angry and yell too..esp in a work situation...I don't like to be criticized..I will either yell or cry...neither response being appropriate.

But I have more stuff going on too....the racing thoughts, nightmares and more...fun stuff

Maybe I should try anger management...sounds like a good idea

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