...to you guys. i apologize. i put on a show. sometimes i am so positive in my responses and other times i am in the toilet, which is where i am right now. i put on a show last night at the visitation, same with going to church this morning and the grocery afterwards. that is why people think i am fake and whiny. i hate the mornings, maybe it is because i know i will be alone all day. the afternoons are better because i know kidlet and dh will be home soon. everytime i leave the house the show begins. when i am alone i feel like dying, by my own hands. it will be showtime tonight because we are meeting dh's father and sister for dinner. i hate hate hate this and just want to be done with it all.
Posts You May Be Interested In
Thanks to everyone that posted and replied. It is supportive and needed.I have a question for the board (from my pervious post)… How do you live with Bipolar? I know this a rather broad and all-encompassing question, but this is one that I am struggling with daily. I have my drug cocktail just about dialed in, do you ever have any hypomanic phases? I am depressed quite a bit, but it is...
I have been flying for over a week, spending a fortune on crap i do not need, even buying a few things twice because i forgot i had just bought them. luckily i stayed in the house most of the time although the dog must have thought i had lost my mind. the crash started on Friday and is getting steadily worse - suicidal ideation is back after my first break from it for years. It is always worse...