I woke up in the middle of the night last night and said to my self I AM WASTING MY LIFE BY WASTING MY TIME! Believe it or not this was something of a revelation. I spend so much time thinking about having this disorder and how fucked up I am sometimes that it never occurred to me how much time I actually waste every day, week, month and year of my life! I wrote in big letters in my journal that I was wasting my life. Today I said, not going there today. Just think about how I can try to make a difference in world and stop thinking of me and start thinking of others. I applied to volunteer (well I called anyway, that's a start) to in a hospital. What better way to find a bit of meaning. Doing service has a great deal of meaning. AA thinks so anyway, and I'm not in AA. Anyone else feel like that?
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