I am so very sorry for your loss. This is an terrible thing to go through. But it seems like all things considered you are dealing well. Time does heal your wounds. But you already know he is with you and will never leave.

first, let me say that i am sorry for your lost.
i have never lost a Loved one to death, but i have lost someone that i Loved with every thing in me. you know, the type of Love that stories and songs are made of. after i lost him i decided that i believe in reincarnation. because i do believe that we are meant to be. and maybe we messed things up in this life time, but maybe next time we'll get it right.
i don't know what your religious beliefs are, but if you do believe in reincarnation, just think about how great the reunion will in your next life time. and if you don't, you'll see him in heaven.

My sincerest condolences on your loss. I can only hope that insight, hope and perspective will help you to heal. My prayers go out to you. And yes, I am familiar with death of a close individual. Not the same type of relationship that you describe; however, nonetheless very close. The relationship was that I had with my father. He was a very inspirational ,intelligent, compassionate, just and courageous man. Despite his dx of BP he maintained a career as a contract specialist(lawyer) for years despite his illness and hospitalizations. During my teens and early twenties my relationship with my father was strained due to a substance abuse issue and my own BP. I was so very fortunate though that I reconciled and the last time I saw my father before he passed away I got to tell him how much I loved him, how much of an influence he had on my life, how much I learned from him about being a father since I was one at that time. The last thing I said to him was: "If I am only half the man you are Dad, I will be a better man for it." Today, the pain is still there yet I have come to terms with it and realized that it was my father's time. I miss him terribly and so many times have wanted his counsel which he so kindly gave. Regardless, I know in my heart that my father lives with me and I will see him again in person...without question.

Loss just plan sux, in the last 3 years I have lost so much and time doesn't seem to help as yet but I try to think of the positive things I shared or the good times that came with there lives it is very hard and I wish you the very best Heathcliff never got over Catherine.

Hi, lovelymindset!!!
I am so very sorry for your loss!!!
That was such a short time ago. It would be surprising if you 'were' anywhere near being through with feelings of intense sadness and loss about this.
I don't wholeheartedly believe in 'time heals all wounds' but life does move on and slowly, over time, the feelings will change into something much more managable.
Maybe it would help if you wrote a letter to him, telling him how much he meant -- and still means -- to you, how terrible you feel without him and how much you regret not having told him certain things and how much you wish he was still here and that you had spent more time together. And then go read it to him at his grave. Or just read it aloud to his 'spirit', right where you are.
I don't think the hurt and sadness will ever go away, but I do think it will lessen and change in nature; that the time will eventually come when you can think back on the good times and feel enjoyment in doing so.
A good way of motivating yourself to begin recovering is to keep reminding yourself of how he would want you to feel and try to embody that.
Honor his memory by how you conduct yourself in life. If you can learn to be as healthy and as happy as possible, that makes his life to have had that much more value. Let him live on, in you.
Once again, I'm so sorry. You are in one of life's hardest places right now. I wish you well.

Hearts and death are tender things. It's alright to miss someone to whom you formed a connection. I have just started to come out of a depression about an older gentleman that I worked for who died. I care about people quick and deep. I didn't even realize my depression was triggered by his funeral until my husband pointed it out to me. Hurting is part of loving. It does get better. There will always be a special place in your heart for him. It is the way of the human heart. I send my condolences across the miles to you.

I'm so sorry, love. I cannot even begin to fathom what it must be like to lose someone so dear to your heart. I have been very blessed to not know such pain as of yet, even though I lost my grandparents a few years back. I loved them dearly and it was hard, but I imagine not nearly as hard as losing your soul mate, mom, dad, sister, brother, or a best friend. If I lost my mom or someone that close to me, I honestly think I would die.

I'm sure you will always miss him as he was so dear to you, but I think it will get easier to handle with time. You know the saying, "Time heals all wounds." I'm not sure if it completely heals them, but it certainly does make them less painful. Hang in there, love. If you need to talk, I'm here for you.

(((hugs)))