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Suicide and what it does to thoughs around you.

rcp78
rcp78
Well, early this morning I found out that one of my good friends committed suicide late last night. When I heard it I was ok but very sad about it. Then I went to church this morning and before the service I talk to the Pastor and told him about it. The weird thing is that I just talked to my friend yesterday and everything seemed to be ok, just another day, it was the same old shit, we were joking and having fun and stuff. My pastor said he was just trying to say his good byes, but how inconsiderate cause I never got to say mine or have a chance to talk him out of it, God damn it, he never even hinted that there was anything wrong, there was No signs or anything. During the Sermon the Pastor said a prayer for him and I could not help but to feel like crying. I don't cry, I know I should not hold things in but that is how I am build. It is not a man to cry, that is how I was raised, but I really felt like it when the Pastor was telling the story and said the awesome prayer for my friend. To add to it the people at the church were all so supportive and that is something I am just not use to. My friend had kids and I feel for them, it makes me so sad that they have to go on without him. Why do people chose to kill themselves and not take in to consideration the feelings of those that love and care about them around them I may never understand. Now, I truly understand the pain someone could have though from someone doing such a thing and it sure does hurt to never have the chance to say good bye to him. I am asking all my friends on here to please keep my friend in all your prayers tonight. His name is Brian, and wish him a good journey up to heaven. Well, I got to go cause it is too hard to do this right now, the feelings are just too strong about it right now. Y'all have a good day and may god be with you all. If any of you ever feel like doing something like that reachout don't hurt those around you and leave things unsaid cause all that does is make those around you that care only feel lost and hurt in side. Don't be inconsiderate, there is always someone that cares out there and nothing is worth killing yourself over. Only god understands I guess. Well, hang in there y'all.Cry
deleted_user
deleted_user
The first emotion you feel is anger which is legitimate and should be allowed to be expressed. My best friend did the same to me although she didn't have kids. You can't move onto the grief stages until you go through the anger and I'm just concerned your pastor might say something in a Christian way that discourages your anger and replaces it with forgiveness. Well, you are not ready to forgive right now. Surround yourself with understanding people and let them support you through this. I'm so sorry for your loss. Having been suicidal myself I thought of my children and how it would destroy them for the rest of their lives so have made a contract with them that suicide is not an option.
deleted_user
deleted_user
(((RCP78))) You and your friend are in my prayers. May he be your guardian angel.
tommymott
tommymott
Of course men should cry, and that's good since there's so much to cry about! I'm sorry about your friend. In the end there's little we can do for others but we can take care of ourselves.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sure your friend is happy now. I will light a candle for you both. I have had suicidal ideation many times and attempted suicide twice. I think you put it quite eloquently that suicide is a very selfish act. I will remember that the next time I have a razor in my hand.
peace, t
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear about that RCP. Honestly when I'm suicidal the only thing that really tosses the thought out is how it would effect my friends and family and how unfair it is to them. You shouldn't feel ashamed to cry, especially under these circumstances.
deleted_user
deleted_user
RCP, You expressed your feelings so well. I hope you will continue to share them with supportive people.
I worked a suicide hot line and the explaination they gave for a person committing suicide is that the pain is so bad the person just isn't able to handle it any longer. I have been terribly depressed before but have chosen to hang on just a little longer.
Maybe your message will say that to someone who is thinking of suicide.
We are all with you in your grief. You are not alone. Okiegirl
deleted_user
deleted_user
When I lived in the Arctic, 4 of my friends committed suicide. I found them. It stuck in my brain. No warning. No indication that they were going to kill themselves. No note. No nothing. I feel sorry for you, cuz it just leaves more questions than it solves. You (immediately) ask yourself "why"? Then you ask yourself "how"... since they had a family and everything going for themselves! Just how could they do it?
Ummmm... it happens when the pain in their head turns greater than the life that they lead. It's selfish, but, it's an end to a very sad story. Don't blame yourself! You missed the warning signs, 'cuz there were none! I don't agree with jungal... you don't feel anger. You feel remorse. You try to mentially ask yourself how you are going to deal with it!
How do you deal with it?
Suggestion: Your friend died for a cause that he conjured up. A cause that eliminated the pain of his family and just concentrated on him. He CHOOSE to die! He weighed the pro's and con's and took his own life!
Could we have saved him? Highly unlikely!
Live Love and Laugh.
Pick up the pieces and carry on!
Hugs.
Keith
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had a friend who committed suicide 4 years ago tomorrow. It doesn't hurt as much now & the angry feelings about him doing it have subsided but what really pisses me off is that he did it the day after my mothers birthday.

I try to concentrate on Mum on her day but because I can't forget my Mum's birthday I don't forget the anniversary of his death.

Unfortunately if someones determined to do it they will, it's a rough ride for those that loves them & there's always a lot left unsaid & undone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
talk about bringing back memories. my friend shot herself in the heart with a .410 shotgun about four years ago. i talked to her around midnight the night before. i had no idea she was even depressed. i was in shock. she had a lil girl. i can't understand all the reasons that go thru someones head when they take that step but i know for a fact it isn't a selfish act. it comes from being in such torment and pain and you know nothing will stop it. you don't want to hurt your friends and family but sometimes it's the only way out. i tried to kill myself not long after my friend did but i called for help before i passed out. right now i'm not suicidal but that changes from day to day. please don't judge your friend just know he is free now and his pain is gone.
Shelly4
Shelly4
I cant speak for all people that contemplate suicide but I can for myself. Last December I almost took my life. The story of which is in my journal entries. I spent weeks becoming more and more depressed but hiding well and suffering silently. It is what I do well. I went through all the reasons I should not do it and all the people I would hurt. Slowly over time I rationalized that everyone including myself would be better off without me. The pain was so great I could not imagine I had any worth, nor could I imagine ever feeling any better. My last hope that I hung onto was my third son, who is mentally challenged. By the morning i decided to kill myself, even thoughts of him would not stop me. It was through his prayer for me at school at the moment I was ready to do it, that saved my life. My point to this is to say I dont think your friend had the mental capacity anymore to consider what he might be doing to anyone else. He felt worthless and in pain and considered his only option being suicide. Unfortunately he suceeded. My prayers are with you my friend and your story has tremendous value for those contemplating suicide. We need to see and feel and hear what others experience because of our selfishness.
deleted_user
deleted_user
when i tried to take my life in my mind i believed everyone would be much better off without me. i felt i was a burden on my family and a failure to my chidren. that had a lot to do with my choice to die.
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