I guess I don't really know what to say in here except I need HOPE. I feel like I am never going ot get better...That the doctor will never be able to find the right combo of meds for me...I have always wanted to be a mother and now I am finidng myself questioning if I should even do that...I can't even take care of myself. My husband is always trying to help. Ive asked him to read up on the disease so he will know more about it and be able to help me. But he must have more important things to do (like play his video games) than to read it. I am very frustrated with him. I wake up thinking I should go to the hospital. My nerves are going hay wire and I feel like I am in a constant panic attack (kind of). I am crying and not able to do things I should, like clean the house. It is a struggle to go to work and school and keep up with my homework. If I do get in a good mood, it's really nice feeling that way, but it doesn't last. I don't know if I'd consider this suicidal ideation...But I just think things would be better if I could die or go away or something. I don't know what to do.
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