I should be taking my cancer medication at this time, but why bother.

I am sorry you are in such pain. Im sorry that you have had some unsupportive things happen. I try to take it with a grain of salt and skip the hurtful things. Dont let other peoples ignorance or hurtfulness destroy you or expidite the progression of your cancer. Seek help and support from those in a place to offer it. Sometimes when people hurt to much themselves they are unable to be supportive and may even lash out. Other times they are supportive... My pain is no where close to the pain of cancer... I have FMS and I know that struggling with something that is life long (how ever long or short that maybe) is very hard. Sometimes people that dont suffer that kind of life long pain dont understand what its like and how it affects BP or any mental disorder.

Please find some strengh in some one or something and care for your body as you never know what help may be there in a day a week a month... a year... take one day at a time and know that if nothing else maybe your life and suffering may aide the medical communtie to learn so that others dont have to suffer your pain. I know thats not a lot to live for but for me I find it is the only thing that keeps me taking my meds, keeps me sane (as much as possible) and keeps me taking all the damn tests I go throught just to be told... nothing shows up... no explination for my suffering but generic lables. maybe oneday they will find the right test and find the problem and a treatment or even better a cure and my daughter wont have to suffer the way I do... or some one elses daughter for that matter.

I do truely hope you can find peace... and a way to live in as much of a pain free exsistance as possible... my heart goes out to you

Testy, don't let all the fuss and debate determine whether or not you take care of yourself and do what's best for you. Take your meds, and maybe, take a break from all these posts. If it were me, that's what I would do. I would take my meds, find a nice place to relax, and get away from the computer for a bit. Pray, meditate, whatever makes you feel peace and comfort.

I wish you the best!

testy I was in no way mocking you...I wouldnt be that callous nor cruel I know that you are going through a rough time...I appreciate that you were willing to email me earlier. It is worth taking your medication.

F#@$!Them! Don't allow a few idiots to determine your fate. Your health and well-being are far too important to let them be jeopordized by a calous few. There are many good people on this site that are genuinely concerned about your welfare - because caring about you means they can care about themselves.

I think Jillxx is right, maybe you should take a break from the posts if they are upsetting you. You don't deserve to be the butt of others ignorance. You ARE cared about and you should fiight with all your might to live - because living and living well is the best revenge.
peace, t

I hope you have taken your meds. It is hard i know I have lost 5 people with cancer and it is hard to cope with it never mind having a mental illness on top. I am sure your family care for you even though sometimes it feels as if they don't. I realy feel for you and wish i could personaly come and give you a hug and help you through this hard time. My thought and prayers are with you.
Take care
Love and hugs
Bett

Ok guys I am a tad frantic now is Testy ok does anyone know???

I'm ok. I just needed to get away for a while. I cant take the effective dose of my BP meds anymore because of the hemoraging, and I am forbidden to take the treatment to prevent my cancer as well because it interferes with what I still can take for my BP, So no pills to deal with the physical pain, and next to none for the emotional issues. Life sucks, but I will have to try to deal with it. I will ask if I can get on something els soon from my other Dr.s... I won't be stable till I am on something.

Im so glad you are ok testy...you had me worried...I hope that they can do something for you to help with the physical pain...

Had as hot a shower as I could stand. It took some of the physical pain away... Not nearly as good as a bath would. I wish I could soak in a bath...

Had as hot a shower as I could stand. It took some of the physical pain away... Not nearly as good as a bath would. I wish I could soak in a bath...

Im glad that somthing is helping with your physical pain Testy...

It did for a little while. A soak would feel better for longer, but at this time .... Yuck!

Hey Testy. When I first came here, I was wiggin' out over all the shit slinging that can go on here. But, now...I just roll my eyes and realize that it's like being on the gradeschool playground when we were 10. I've actually learned a LOT of things by being in the midst of it all. I've certainly come to understand how crazy we can get as Beepers (BPs).
I try not to take it personally - and sometimes the typed word comes out differently than intended.
Hugs, and prayers for you as you fight for your life - don't you give up! We certainly won't let you!
xoxoxo

Thanks Johnette. Thanks LuvNHope.