I dont know. I just keep having episodes. The bipolar intensity comes over me before I even have a chance to stop it and my mouth opens and somebody gets an earful. Everytime it happened I use to naively think that will be the last time because surely I've learned my lesson. It's never the last time. There's always another one . I have plenty of tools but I've never ever been able to bring them to bear when that bipolar anger hits and animates me.
My therapist says dont look for a perfect record. But I'm scared of getting reported and hauled into the Director's office where I live. I'm scared of eventually getting kicked out of my residence or kicked out of the medical facility I go to. The therapist says it's not so bad being reported because that moves me along towards improvement. Yea but what a humiliating way to be moved forward. I'm so tired of being bipolar and so tired of drawing attention to myself by being a 'hothead' and having that kind of reputation where I live. It's degrading !
What Happened to Jewelz? I need Jewelz. I miss her.
I'm finally leaving my abusive family and the ridiculous man who just won't leave me alone! Going where I belong. I have two job interviews and an appointment to see an apartment on the 28th and I couldn't be more excited! Yes I'm taking you guys with me lol!!