I am going to a strip bar tonight with my friend. my new boyfriend is going to one as well. I am hating it. strip bars are not for me, i am going for my friend. he on the other hand loves going so.. i am fuming.. I am feeling anger generally at his sexuality. Logically he can do whatever he wants..I do what I want. There is just something that angers me and disgusts me when a man oogles a woman.. i think because if the attention is on me, like it was from my grandfather and uncle, then everyone else was safe.... holy crap i just got it...i cannot stand when my man looks at another woman because deep inside i am terrified that my sister will get abused...by my grandfather and uncle... everyone else was safe if they put their attention on me... the minute their eyes strayed then any other woman was in danger... and he was a sick fuck...it isnt true but now i know where it is coming from.,.. what an epiphany
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