I'm so proud of you and YES I take much more than I should often but it's not for the reason I thought it was.

I've figured out something within myself. At times I think if I say or do something different, I might be more helpful to the person I have problems with but have finally realized I only have control of me!
If you stand up for yourself by simply being honest then people will learn to respect you more.

WOW I did the same thing!!!

i was in one of the parenting sections and this PARENTING ADVISOR CAME IN... I hate Fing knowitalls anyways. i have issues of authority and I am sick of people telling me how to raise my kids.

Her school has a conduct code you have to look into a persons eyes when talking. I do this and it freaks some people out. they tell me to stop peering into their souls. So my point I made was. if you raise your kids with understanding courtesy comes along if you spoil the little brats that is what they become.

So, i told her off felt good. We all handle our kids differently and I come here for peer support not for someone to say that BECAUSE I AM AN ADVISOR YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME!!!

Good for you! I used to do that too until I found myself in a relationship with someone who blamed me for everything under the sun. Including not reading his mind. I let him until it pushed me to the edge and I snapped. After nine months of it I realized just how ridiculous it was. I am held accountable for all of my actions so why should I be the only one? I make enough of my own mistakes, I'm not taking blame for someone else's that I had no part in.

BTW Congrats lily!!!!

I take the blame for nobody, but I do take responsibility for my shit. Seriously, I don't take people's crap at all. If somebody pisses me off, I'm fucking telling them off. Because seriously, I don't care what normal people think. Yeah, I'm fucking bipolar and that comes with many issues and if you don't like it, well then FUCK THE HELL OFF!

God I love you guys I have been taking this shit for 18 years because he is the most wonderfull man i have ever known in all the other stuff it was making me hate him. I feel free.

Oh so many times I have been doing this forever it seems, then I let it go to long and want to explode. I have always felt blame even when I had nothing to do with situation. Kudo's to you for standing up for yourself.

Was the nice guy at work for too long last winter!!! That probably helped lead to my breakdown. Yep, you've got to let off steam sometimes.

Also, remember what Aretha said...."R E S P E C T"

Ok, I know she wrote that one for you ladies, but everybody can learn from it. Laugh, love the sock it too me's!

I don't have a problem standing up for myself. What has been regretful for me is not having just the right words to express myself in the moment the abuse is taking place. I am making strides at getting better at this, but I still get so overwhelmed with the emotional part of the situation that the emotion is clouding my ability to organize my thoughts and respond from a place of clarity and strength. When I am able to do that, and I was able to do it recently, it feels so amazingly powerful. The person apologized to me and accepted responsibility for attempting to project their own fear and negativity onto me. IT WAS AWESOME. Practice and courage are working. Thanks for this discussion.

So, I read a recent article about stress. The biggest cause? Not feeling in control! It can actually shorten our lives!

Lilypett - Congratulations! it is sooooooooo freeing!. I used to take a lot of crap from my husband and then stuff the feelings, I was depressed alot.
Do not take it anymore, I refuse to end up on the couch horizontal for months again!

In the beginning I was always yelling at him, but now I just state my opinion and take care of me!! Way to go! hugs

Yes and today I had a dicussion about forgiveness. I used to feel that after standing up for myself it was hard to forgive the other party because I felt that by forgiving it somehow meant that thier actions were ok. NOT TRUE! You can forgive and understand but the behavior has to stop. Or I need to remove myself from it. Make sense?

i told someone she was a bitch today instead of taking her shit.........im proud of myself.

Good for you Lilly!
I used to take a lot of garbage as I grew up with an abusive parent. I certainly do NOT tolerate it anymore, life is entirely too short & don't we have enough stress to deal with as a result of this disorder?