Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Stable?!?!?!?!

deleted_user
deleted_user
Lately I am finding that I am questioning my mental state of mind. I am constantly wondering am I depressed or jut sad? Am I Manic, Hypomanic, or just happy? Am I stable?

WHat defines stable? I fear crashing...

My mood: I woke up at a normal hour and was happy to be awake. I am not afraid to adress my bills... (I still dont wanna clean) I have some anxiety but on the whole no panic attacks. I still feel the need to seek counciling (if it would ever get approved) yet I find my self having profound (to me) thoughts instead of the tiny triggers that use to be major to me. I was manic last weekend and this weekend just past I felt what I can only describ as normal.

I Dont actually know what normal is. I dont know what stable is. I dont know what just happy is. I worry that having the feeling of being able to address life issues and take em all head on is a sign of mania and that a crash is around the corner... I know I should enjoy the ride but I would like to know how to define stable for my self.

So what is stable for you? How do I set the guidelines for my self? I really need to hear from others since I have NEVER been stable my entire adult life... maybe when I was 9.... maybe....
deleted_user
deleted_user
You need rest
deleted_user
deleted_user
rest is good...and as for normal...It is what is normal for you and only time and effort will allow you to know what that is...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ironic you say that ;p

True it is bed time... But I started a new med a few days ago and it helps me get a really good sleep that I havent had in ages. I actually feel better and feel like I think clearly. I feel like I have all these thoughts I just need to get out and talk about... and lucky for you all my counciling isnt approved yet so you get to hear what is going on in my brain... lord I feel bad for who ever ends up as my new councilor ;p
deleted_user
deleted_user
But how do you know something if you have never experianced it. I am really serious when I say I have not been normal for many many years. I rapid cycled for SOOO long and fought off depression compounded by pain that if I base normal off of the me I know... Im manic... And I dont think I am. I guess what Im saying is I dont know how to react to the way I feel now. Almost like I need to get the safty net out cause normally I would be crashing sometime VERY soon... and I SOOO dont want that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's actually a BIG thing.
I'd say everyone faced with illness has this cruel phase.
It is a tortuous phase.Still a phase.
It'll be replaced with something else that chews yr soul.The next phase.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How sad that we must question wether we are happy or sad as opposed to being in the extreams. Striving to find a stable place and then if we think we are close not having any clue...

This uncertanty is very cruel for sure. Can I at least hope that the next phase is knowing that I am stable or at least reached a stable point? I would like to know that for once in my life I hit a normal stable place. That its not an unreachable goal... I think thats why it bothers me so much... never been there... just once I would like to know Im there and its an obtainable place. then in my darker times I can know I can reach it again in time
deleted_user
deleted_user
The best things happen in silence, without us having to notice their presence.That's when it's as close to natural as is possible.
It's only after we think " Oh, that's changed for the better "
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really hope that I am not looking forward to missing the times in my life when I am stable... I want to savor every moment. Your probally right I will probally wake up in a psyc ward one day and realize that oh.... I was stable... how sad that I missed it


:(
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have felt like you have and it even says so in my profile. That sometimes I don't even know who me is anymore. The only way I know I'm stable is that I sleep better, I'm interested in the things I used to be, I smile, I have energy (not abundant), and I have self-confidence and triggers don't get me down or up like they used to. I think it's because deep down inside I know who I really am and deep down inside I think you know who you really are too, you just haven't seen her in a while.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it's part of the illness. The therapist says that we can tell when we are well or unwell, but Ive watched my mother for as long as I can remember and she couldn't tell, and would never admit it. I think it's sometimes better to take the advice of someone close to you. they can tell when youare not acting like yourself. I think we spend too much time worrying about it. Myself included. I even look back over my life and ask myself if I've ever been normal. there is no normal. You are who you are
MJ
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