So I've been having mixed episodes for the last week. I scream and yell and then I cry for about an hour or two and then I start screaming and yelling again. I usually sleep like a baby but now it takes me forever to get to sleep. I've been having suicidal thoughts, okay actually more than suicidal thoughts. Like I actually had the pills in my hands and was going to go for it then I kept thinking I just need to talk to someone so I put the pills away and called all my friends. I took like five calls before I got someone though. I proceeded to cry on the phone for an hour before they could get me calmed down. Now I'm here alone at my house wondering what in the world to do. My husbands been on a business trip for the last two weeks while I've been progressively getting worse and worse. I'm trying to distract myself with movies and chocolate. Anybody have any ideas? I know your probably going to say I need new meds. My doc just put me on a new med but she said it would take like three months before I got up to any kind of effective dose. So I guess I'm just going to have to tough it out until then.
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