This is so hard for me. I keep thinking...how did I get this bad? I have no idea when I first felt this way? What will happen to me in the future? Will I ever be happy? I'm so scared and angry. I felt so good for the last two days. I had a friend over and had fun. After she left I just broke down and cried. I thought wow I'm getting better! Then suddenly my high comes to an end. I'm suddenly devestated and crying. Once again my boyfriend has to come home to me crying. Once again he has to hear me say I don't want to go through this hell anymore. Once again he has to tell me it will all be ok just be patient. This back and forth with emotions is killing me. These high and lows are draining me. I'm starting 100 mg on my meds tomorrow. I'm so scared I will loose everything. When will it get better? Does it ever get better?
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