I need some laughs too. Hope this is not too many at once. Should get all the blondes riled.

She was so blonde that...
She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She managed to trip over my cordless phone.

On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".

She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.

When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night.

She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said - "concentrate"

She got stabbed in a Shoot out.

She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.


She was so blonde she fell for these Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags - great pranks for playing on your blond friends :)



When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.

She thinks Eartha Kitt is a set of gardening tools.

When she saw the sign for YMCA she said: "LOOK, they've spelled MACY's wrong!!!"

She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".

She put lippie on her forehead cos her boyfriend told her to make up her mind.

She tried to drown a fish.

If you offered her a Penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

She took a Spoon to the Super Bowl.

It takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She asked for a Price-check at the 'Everythings a Pound' store.

They had to burn her school down to get her outta 4th grade.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

lol Thank you

Okay, some redneck jokes.
What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common? -- either way, you're gonna lose your trailer...

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He wanted to test out his new air brakes.

Big Jimbo sauntered into his local Post Office, and noticed a new sign on the wall:
MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA
"Dang it!" he said, "...if only that job was in Texas, Ah'd be a takin it!"

Did you hear about the Alabaman RedNeck who who planted Cheerios in his backyard? -- He thought they were donut seeds...

One last set and that is all.

You could be a redneck Jedi if
You've heard heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

The doors on your X-Wing are welded shut and you have to get in through the windows.

Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.

That 'Disturbance in the Force' was just last night's baked beans.

You've had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You refer to Yoda as your Li'l green buddy.

You have ever used a light saber to light the barbecue grill.

Your Father's name is Garth Vader.

You've ever given someone a wedgie by using the Force.

You're beer belly puts Jabba's to shame.

Your idea of a practical joke is stickin a banana in Boba Fett's tail pipe.

You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah in a pair of tight Daisy Duke shorts.

The cake at your wedding was sliced with a lightsabor.

You asked to be buried with your LightSaber.

You use your lightsabre as a bug zapper.

You're flying a ship which has no original parts.

You got fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing.

You say 'these are not the beers you are looking for.'

Thank you very much for the giggles. I am off to bed.

Good nite.

you know you're a redneck when:
The taps in the trailer run but the 4 vehicles outside don't.
You burn your lawn instead of mowing it and you find those 4 vehicles.

lol being that I live in redneck usa and am married to one a good on though here's my favorite If a redneck move to ohio and gets a divorce will he and his wife still be brother and sister

I swear officer I was just helping that sheep over the fence,