Not the love of a child or family or friends, but loving a significant other. It is so rarely that I allow myself to fall in real love because of this, because i ALWAYS get hurt so bad. I usually always keep a backup on the sidelines to fill in when the relationship ends because I don't let myself committ. Now, however, I had decided last December to put my whole self into this relationship, but I have recently found that he has not done the same. I keep going back even though I know he is not being true and it is just hurting more and more. It hurts to be with him, because I know deep in my heart that I am only being used and that he is not true to me, and at the same time it hurts so bad to not be with him because for some unknown stupid reason I have come to love him so much. I so want off this ride before it ends up killing me.
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