oh would you be so humble to tell your friends that they were from ds?

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked

Don't worry artemis, it;ll be just fine.That WAS funny

Love it gracie thanks

love the lawyer one. I've only got jokes 4 kids, not snappy.

This old couple are sitting down for breakfast, looking at each other like they did on the first day they met. The woman said to the man, "Oh, honey, I am so hot for you, my nipples scream out for your touch!" The man replied, "that is because on is in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Ok, really stupid.

This guy in a bar hit on me one time. He came up to me and asked if I had any Italian in me. I replied, no, I didn't. He grabs his crotch and says, "would you like some?" I poured my beer over his head.

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," the little girl replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?" "Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then, "the little girl smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?



Cherry Float :)

How do they say cunnilingus in Glasgow?

Grrowling at the badger!

(joke courtesy of Billy Connelly) who is brrilliant!

I farted and blamed it on grandma!

so did i but grandma is dead so she only farts dust

Ah yes, gotta love a good old fart joke. That's the 7 yr old boy in me.

What does grandma's cooter taste like?

Drummrollll!!!!!


DEPENDS!!!


HAHAHAHAH

What's good on pizza, but not on pussy?


crust.


eeeeew. that's sick, I know.