sick.,I think yr a good man.
Part of our problem is that others may not understand our daily woes.
Also, just as weird is for us to have perspective on their life-puzzle...from where we are situated.

I get so annoyed by the lack of understanding displayed by people sometimes and then I have to tell myself to try and be tolerant of their ignorance it isn't easy when you are suffering and daily living is hard enough. I feel for you. Wish I could help more. You are not alone, is all I can say.

Sickoflife, I agree with Matt and Johnette. Sometimes the people around us are telling us what they desire. Your mom, in her own way, is telling you how much she aches for you and wants you to be well. We will never be healed. We have bipolar disorder. Accepting it, not fighting against it, is the key to moving on and "living" with it. Living is vitally important. If we stagnate and live "in it" we are miserable. Bipolar disorder is NOT "who you are", you are "whatever your name is". Bipolar disorder is what you have. It is extremely hard to work to be who you are and the best you can be with this disorder. It is somewhat easier for some than others because of the type of bipolar disorder that they have. However, it is of utmost importance that you follow a regimen in your life that is healthy and moving forward. Mental "attitude" makes a huge difference in how you see yourself and how you are motivated to move forward. Start by writing down all the things "about you" that are good things, the dreams you have, the things you want to accomplish. It can be as simple as showering by 8 in the morning or brushing your teeth everyday, but they are positive, moving forward things to accomplish in your life. Anything your mind can percieve you can achieve but you have to want it bad enough. Some of the things that work for me are a regular, healthy diet, no drinking, lots of sleep, exercise, writing, exploring my gifts, hobbies, meditating, positive thinking,family support, taking my meds, praying, motivational meditation, relaxation meditation and many others. If I were to just sit and think about all the reasons this disorder encapsulates my life, I would "BE" bipolar. I refuse and so should you. Everything I do feel from you is that you are a very sensitive, loving, caring, passionate, compassionate man. Uncover that. Start by dumping the shit that bogs you down and weighs on you to the point of smothering the "real" and "true" YOU. Just through the pure effort of doing it, you will begin to feel comfort and so will your mom. Message me anytime if you want specifics on ways to move forward. It has saved my life. I too am blessed, because through very hard work for many years I have uncovered "me". I have a wonderful, strong marriage and four healthy sons. I dont pretend I dont suffer because I do, but I pick myself up and move on, I refuse to stay stagnant. I feel you have it in you to be everything that is the best of you but you have to want it and you are the only one who can acieve it. Hugs for you journey friend.