I am new here. I am really glad I found you guys. I was mildly depressed for about a week. Starting to feel better actually. I was diagnosed in 1990 When I get suicidal thoughts now I have been through it so many times that I try hard not to bother friends or family about it. I know it will go away and as painful as it is I feel like I am watching the whole thing from a third person place and I know it will go away. My husband on the other hand is remarking to me that I haven't done any work in a week! For Christ sake. I think he thinks that Bipolar illness is nothing real but an elaborate act to manipulate people. I don't need to stay with him and I wish he would go away. I had one close friend here and she stopped speaking to me 3 months ago for no apparent reason. Of course, I have behaved really badly in the past toward my family. Shockingly actually. But I have not behaved like that in many years. I am always nervous to call my family and talk because I think they worry. I am trying to get back on my feet and have some normalcy. I do worry about down time when I am not productive. I am working on an academic paper with several other people and haven't gotten anything done in 12 days. But I hate remarks like you haven't worked in a week. Or you don't work which really messes with my reality or I hope your not going to start that suicide s**t again when I have not said anything like that in ages. It strikes me that that is no way to talk to anyone anyway. Oh he isn't an awful person but It truly messes with my sense of self esteem. I guess it is up to me to decide that I won't put up with that. Its my third marriage and I guess the question isn't about our relationship so much as wouldn't it be better if I just stayed out of relationships. Funny thing is I'm not angry just exhausted. Anyway glad to have found you guys.
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