Screwing up is what I do best. If there was an award to win for it, I'd surely get it.

Best wishes, hun!

Yeah I ran into trouble with my bp at the end of my teaching career. The stress was too much for my illness and I kept saying inappropriate things to the kids so the administration was watching me like a hawk. I finally quit when I realized I had taken all my tranquilers in half the amount of time. That day I knew I had a problem because I was always good with my meds so I choose to leave the school for health reasons. Working with kids can be very stressful I feel for you. It can be very difficult when you have bp. I took quitting my job very hard and took up drinking. A few months later my ex had Family and Children's Services remove my child from my care because of my condition (I made a phone call to him threatening I would abuse her if he didn't come and help me while I was in a very depressed state and drunk at the time). If your job ends make sure you have people lined up that can help you get through the situation. I didn't and if I had I would still have my daughter today. I just got so busy I didn't take care of myself and for a bper that can be dangerous.

i have stopped trying at this point. it's not that i think that i will mess it up due to being bipolar, it's that i know. my entire teen and adult years have been spent fucking up at the hands of this emotional back-and-forth. it's all that i know at this point.

I screw up on the daily..... but I keep tryin, and i don't even know why... better thanm the alternative I suppose

yes...a few years ago I had this strange feeling of forboding....and then I got really sick. Coincidence? Probably.

i have worked practically round the clock since i left school, im a hair stylist and also a qualified colour technician , but i do lots of promotion work , but i havent worked steadily for the last 2 n 1/2 for the same reasons , i wish you all the luck in the world honey xx

Especially when I get manic, I start to freak! I start thinking I'm going to say something I shouldn't or do something I shouldn't and it scares the hell out of me because I'm out of control. And as far as depression goes, I'm always a screwup by letting people down, not showing up, being undependable and so forth. So yes, this fear is with me quite a bit. More often though during my episodes.

I screw up all the time. I often feel like a failure for it.
Good luck though, positive thinking can help

Wow I am new to this site and I felt like I am the only one afraid of messing up at work. Being a nurse was a hard job worrying about making a med error threw me into panic state. I feel your pain...

I'm a screw up too. I finally had to quit my $20 per hr customer svc job of 18 years due to my medical issues. Now, I've got no job, no insurance and no money. Luckily the Texas Rehab office may decide to help me. I'm working on it. I've already done all of their psychological testing and physical and I'm waiting to hear if they will help. Cross your fingers for me, its my last hope..

Sometimes I over evaluate some of my actions at work and then think that something bad is going to happen to me because of a decision that I made.

Other times I have gotten in trouble because I was so depressed that I could barely concentrate. Right now I can barely function because I am exhausted, but at the same time I cant stop thinking and I cant sleep.

There are things that I want to do right now, but I know that I shouldnt because I question whether I am in the right state of mind to do what is best.

I have gone off on a tagent so I dont think I have anythign good to offer.

Boy do I know that feeling. I actually realized a while back that when I get it I tend to wallow in it for a few days (ie: calling in sick with the rationale "if I'm not there I can't screw things up"). But what always happens in the end is the fear of losing my job overrides all others and actually going back to work and REALLING working (to make up for being a jerk about the sick-leave) invariably makes me straighten up.

I guess my suggestion would be to continue to work, hard and well. And consider an anti-anxiety med like ativan. I don't take it often but it has gotten me through some bad moments

Ya needs to take a step back and get perspective possibly.
Where are the eggshells coming from?

At least you are able to work. I can't even wrap my head around anything cannot concentrate. Also cannot sleep enough, then I wake up and my mind is flying through ideas. This sucks!! Keep your head up we are all in this same boat it needs to keep getting better I will pray for you...

Well all screw up! Not just us BPers but everyone! Keep your chin up!