I was not medicated for a long time. I thought medication was a weak solution, but now that I have been taking meds for about two years I know I was wrong. Medication makes my life a lot better. But while I was not medicated I did a lot of really stupid shit. Worst one being that I was manic and decided that I needed to write angry letters to people in blood (terrible idea) so now have some crazy scars on my arms. Top, bottom, you name it, everywhere. And I am pretty sure I lost a job today because of it. Whenever people see the scars they recoil immediatly, but it is what it is. And sometimes I still become manic, but now I have support, so it isn't so bad. I just worry that I will never be able to get a job with other people (I work mainly from home now) without them being freaked out by the scars, and also because I know I still become very manic sometimes ( rarely and only for a few days) . It's the worrying that is rough right now, which is why I am still awake. Ergh.
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