i'm a little freaked out right now. i'm gonna tell my doc about this but for now, i just want to know if i'm a total psycho. i've been awake all night, my mind won't stop playing over and over. Its small stuff, not even anything anyone else would notice, but it plays over and over in my head and i obsess over it, am embarrassed over nothing, and then i get tense and fearful and then comes the scary part. i get so angry with myself and panicky that i picture smashing my head through a glass window, or driving lots of nails through my arms...lots of very violent thoughts. i don't want to do these things, but i keep picturing it in my head. it used to be worse before i was medicated. i would get so angry at my husband i'd picture beating his skull in with a tire iron. is this psychotic? anxiety? ocd? or just another part of bipolar? whats going to make it stop?
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This is 100% depressing. I never felt so foolish in all my life. No return call or email from the placement lady. I am cut to the quick.
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