I do a little of both, I generally hide my pain, but if it gets too much I tell all!

lol

Most people know I'm BP..those in my circle ,that is.
They think they understand.


Our HELL ,is a special place here on Earth,no one but another BP,knows the depth of our personal HELL.

HUGS to you

I hide it as best I can, KD. Like you, I don't want to upset anybody, so I try to just "suck it up" and put on the smiley face for everybody.

I'm a hider, always have been from a young age, mum usedd to go nuts at me cos I used to get carsick but never toold anyone when I was about to puke!

No I hide, it feels normal to do that, lifes actors are we!

Over the years I've revealed it and hidden it.Right now it's DS that I can talk to.In real life I can only say so much.Most of it I can't be bothered talking about.Sometimes you give so much energy in trying to communicate..yet it's still misconstrued and misunderstood.

Sometimes the " Aaahhh Fuck It ! " just works.

My family hates me so I want them to experience as much pain as possible. But if you care for your husband and mom's reaction to your stuff I guess tell them in small doses. I don't think holding it all in for you is healthy either. Take Care. Aahchew.

I like to spread it, one friend hears about a little, Gma hears about other stuff, another friend hears about something else. That way none of them are overwhelmed with me.

I used to hide it all... now I put it all out for everyone... thing is I dont need to say it they see it. I have no boundries emotionally so it just spills out of me... Now I am learning to choose which things I share.

In your case I might have mentioned to my mom that I am feeling really stressed about even being there... and left it there. Im sure mom knows enough about you to read between the lines. You shouldnt feel like you cant share it at all, but share with a reasurance that its ok for now. That way if you do hit a breaking point its not a complete shock and crisis... hope that makes sence

Do you have a therapist? Or can you use crises hot lines? Or a pdoc? I'm sorry you don't have a friend or two to confide in. I don't hide my feelings. But, I wait for someone to ask me how I'm doing - then I give them the shortened version.
peace, t

You guys are so right about being able to see it in my face ..thats why I always keep my head down ..never look anyone in the eye .so they cant see my pain..It comes and goes so much that I dont even complain because 2 hours later I can be just fine and happy ...i'll be in the closet untill then ..haha.with my laptop of course !

I hide I can't talk to many people jugde here NOT ON here but my parents I have no one to talk to . I have a B\F but he yells and tells me what to do so I hide and then I write everything down.

Me too! No eye contact. I hid all I could and denied I was anything but fine.

Hi,
I am the mother of a 20 y.o. daughter w/BP. I know she tries very hard to shield me from much of her pain, but a mother knows anyways. She does know that she can come to me and express it, and she is always thanking me and apologizing. I tell her she doesnt need to apologize. Sometimes, esp. when manic, she can say hurtful things, that I know is the mania talking, not her. And then she feels horrible, I know. I used to think that when she was ranting or lamenting some problem, that I had to try to FIX the problem, and some things arent fixable, which was stressful to me. I finally realized that she doesnt expect that from me, she just needs to express herself, to be heard, and sometimes held. Knowing that helps me to cope with the stress. She has been trying to get her boyfriend to understand that too. He has just started counseling with her to learn how to cope for himself and, in turn be helpful to her.
It can be very stressful and confusing to be at the other end of this illness too, and we are also just trying to do our best. Encourage your family and friends to get counseling and support for themselves. It helps everyone.

Yay Kristines how wonderful for your child. I do hide a lot of my crap, can't find the right words to decribe how it feels when you feel like if just one more thing happens I will burst into tiny pieces that will fly into space, that I am being help together with scotch tape sometimes and am so scared it will all come off at once. People look at you with a confuse fear in their eyes and that is hard to see for me.