Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Cutting,burning, hitting ones head against a wall, etc...
It is a coping skill. Self injury is not suicidal in nature. It is a coping skill. Some people do it in order to feel. Some do it to alleviate pain. To some the sight of blood is enough.
Physically it is a release of endorphines that helps counteract the levels of seratonin and nor epinephrine in the brain. Similar to runners high, prolonged sexual gratification, etc....
SI is obviously not a good expression. Unfortunately it does work from a behavioral standpoint technically. It can also become an addiction.
It is very hard to find other means to cope once you start SI. A lot of times the scars on the outside are a reflection of the emotional and mental scars we feel on the inside. When my scars are red and angry am am self concious. As they fade they are easier to handle.
My arms, particularly my left. Are pocked with burns and lacerations from various implements. I have not SI'd in a month. The last episode occurred under the influence of alcohol. I cut way too deep. Thank god for butterflies.
Hope that was personal enough
Theres something about feeling in control for that moment.
And seeing the blood.
Now normally I hate the sight of blood or wounds of any kind.
I am very squeamish, but on the occasions when I cut it's just the opposite.
I started cutting when I lived with my father after I was kicked out of my moms house.
at first I was using x-acto knves but they where getting dull.
then I started to take the blades out of disposable razors they did not stay sharp.
so i stole a package of strait razors from a grocery store.
they worked great.
I would make a deep cut while I was taking a shower and watch the blood flow into the drain.
after people started noticing the cuts on my arm I switched to my upper arm and shoulder area, and my legs.
I would do anything to keep myself from flipping off the deep end, even though it was a bad coping skill it probably saved my life.