I don’t really want to go into my history but the major problem I’m having is to learn to trust myself. I have lost pretty much everything in my life my father (cancer) my husband who committed suicide and blamed me because I wanted a divorce, my job as a RN, my house and my best friend.
Anyways ever since I was diagnosed and taking all these med I never questioned every stressful moment or just had to pay attention to everything I do or did. I use to be at my best when I was stressed especially at work. The harder or more depressing the case was the more I dove in. I thrived it all. I’m not to sure if it’s all the therapy I have gotten inpatient and out but they all talk about keeping that stress down and how important it is to stay stable. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s like they are almost saying the best way to stay stable is not to feel...no extremes stay in the middle. The problem is I don’t like the middle I never have but the key is I never questioned myself that I could handle the extremes. Is it the therapy that makes you question every damn thing or is it the meds. I miss the old me. My friends husband is leaving for Venezuela soon and in the back of my mind I take my meds and go see my Dr because I want to be ok in his head. Hard to explain but it doesn’t really matter. After talking to him today I have so much stuff going through my stupid head. One is I’m not sure I can do this without him and the other is maybe see if I can go off my meds. I want that zest for life again If this feeling of getting off my meds is so strong now how is it going to be when he is gone. I realize I need to take care of my mental health because of me and not him but right now in my life I need more of a reason. Can you ever get off meds yea stupid question.
Does everyone question if they can deal with just the ups and down of life. Do you ever just trust yourself that you’ll be ok no matter what happens in your life or do you live on a damn roller coaster forever. My dream is to get back on that roller coaster but trust myself that you can get off. Hope I making sense to someone who is kind enough to read this. Thanks for your input. Namaste Pema
My life is about to go into a tailspin and I need some advice!!! I rather not go into details, so here is a brief explanation of things: my brother has made some poor life decisions, and as a result he is in jail awaiting trial for a very serious crime. His wife left him years ago, so now there is nowhere for his four children to go. I live with my mother and my younger sister. My mother decided...
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