yes in no oh fuck im sorry m,y heads not workin for this just now , give me a chance to get wakened up n ill come back to you x

lol... thanks x

i'm schizo affective nd this is how i would best describe it...

I can have psychosis, but ive learnt to tell myself the things im seeing or hearing are not real. However, if i am delusional,I cannot tell what is real and what is not and get completely out of check with reality...

i know this wasn't explained very well but im very medicated right now!!!

ill explain a bit more.... ive got my voice back.. and i see things, not often though, but increasingly often... and the way im thinking, at the time, seems rational and real.. but then the next day im looking back thinking... what?!!? freak! then i'll be fairly level headed, up or down but level fairly... then i might become all ... i dno.. aloof again... Ive had voice telling me to do good things, weird things, bad things... i can usually tell it to go away or ignore it and not listen to it... but its getting harder to not reply to it... like im having a conversation with myself but theres two of me... i imagine itd feel like this having a devil and angel on your shoulder. you know.. like on cartoons n films? and one side wins... the real me, the angel is usually winning... but more and more the devil is. and thats not really me. or atleast i dont think so.

And the last god knows how long is mushed into one. i dont know what was a dream and what i was awake for and even if it was either of the above. im answering my boyfriend when hes not saying anything... buildings are growing or shrinkind and things are moving when to everyone else they look still. People keep telling me i'm paranoid...

but im noticing that all this is weird... you see, im confused by that part.

*pmub*

anyone?

I don't tend to , am last to know when manic etc.

I don't think I'd know, at least thats what my hubby tells me.

If you think you are going there and really are, then that's better than not knowing and is a sign that there is hope.
I think fear, anxiety, and paranoia would be symptoms. Also, other's opinions can confirm or deny the accuracy of your feelings.
Anxiety can spiral out of control and make you over react to something that may actually be minor.
Are you taking any meds? Anti-depressants are terrible for BP's. They are actually mood destabilizers for us. Before I was diagnosed with bp, I took zoloft for 6 months. Toward the end of it, I thought I was going crazy and it scared the crap out of me.

Some people have insight into their moods, some people don't.

Some people have insight for *some* of their moods (someone mentioned mania - I can tell when I'm hypomanic, but can't tell when it flips from hypo to full blown).

It sounds like you have pretty good insight right now. This would be a good time to call your Pdoc for a check in.

I am on prozac and depakote. the gp increased prozac.. .not really sure why.. but that was only a day or two ago. i feel like i need to have the depakote increased or try something else as i dont feel right. I was going to try get an appointment with doc or nurse... theyre pretty useless here.

I asked my boyfriend what he thought, and he said 'your clearly going up' but I know that much... i think. I dont know. every day feels v different at the moment. even every hour sometimes.

I usually know that what i am seeing etc isn't real but if you do get to a point where you are delusional you may not.I usually take the opportunity in the begining to go get my meds adjusted so I do not get to that point.
I had a Dr in the ER tell me once that I was experiencing the cruelest kind of mental illness to be psychotic and know it .He said it would be less traumatic if I didn't realize it.I'm like DUH !!!! LOL
Good luck to ya.:)

does anyone take symbyax? i found it on that crazy meds site. I was wondering if it might be worth suggesting to my doc? im assuming coz im allready on prozac it wouldnt be too hard to change to this one?

whatcha think?

thanks chris. itd be much nicer not realising, but i guess its good to get the chance to try avoid it.

You need an antipsychotic, possibly, asap...can you not see a doc or sth v. soon?