My birthday is coming in a few days and I secretly wish that everyone who knows and loves me (even a little) will call and wish me well. I have spent 43 years pretending my birthday doesn't matter and when no one called I told myself it was ok. Well I guess it has not been ok, I think all the hurt I have felt about myself is summed up once a year when no one calls. I will get a token call from someone and I am delighted for the scrap. I know I sound a bit pathetic and maybe I am a little, but I have never told anyone how I feel. I realize also that my behavior is the reason I do not connect with others. I deserve very little as I give very little. I would have liked to have learned how to be a person others like and love but you can't love someone who won't let you. So, as far as I can tell my mom is watching my wonderful nephew while my sister and brother inlaw go to Martha's Vineyard for his birthday. The few people I will be around will forget and or not know. So to all the people I have forgotten in my life for one reason or another I am sorry and Happy Birthday. S
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