I want to say that I am truly sorry for my behavior,in regards to last nights post. When I woke up this morning, I read Kaitlynns message and was absolutely mad and confused. I went back to the board and read it myself. It wasn't right, it was not true. I felt trapped in a lie. I lied to cover a lie, and so forth. Truth was, that I was terrified. What have I done? Why did I do this? Am I officially crazy? I talked to UnHitched and KGD over the phone, as well as my doctor. He and I agreed that I needed to write this. When I was Kalebs' sisters age, and my sister was Kalebs age, our siblings did indeed pass away. It was indeed drug related. We were moved to a foster home for awhile. We were sexually abused for 6 years. I have not dealt with these issues yet because I figured the past was the past. Apparently, it isn't the past. Thank you Kaitlynn for checking, even in your own way. My last "episode" like this happened roughly 5 years ago and I was "missing" within myself for almost a week to a week and a half. I need to see my doc 2 x this week, and every week after. I am so sorry if I hurt any of you. I pray that you still have faith in me. I am sorry, I don't know what else to say. From now on, I need to be completely honest with myself if I fall into this line of thinking. Once again, I am sorry.
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