this is actually my journal, but those who wont go on my profile n read my journal, could you give me your opinions.

if theres anyone spiritual... yours especially!!!

Today I spent my first day on the crisis recovery ward (as a day patient).

I spent all day fighting the voice telling me run out to the flyover the motorway and jump off it.

I then fought the voice telling me to tell my transport home a 'shortcut' to my house in order for me to become unsupervised long enough to jump off the railway bridge.

I am now fighting the voice telling me not to do these same things its been telling me to do today, tomorrow.

This morning I woke up very happy, with a little girl stood next to me. she was beautiful. with short blonde hair and rosey cheeks. she fought off the voice that had been talking to me all night. I went to the hospital in a happy mood, with this girl riding in the car with us. I told them about her, they didnt have much to say. then whilst in hospital he was there, but this little girl was helping me fight him. I dont know who she is but i like her. i ran in from my cigarette, grin bulging off my face, and asked if i could go in the art room... thoughts racing through my head. they said ofcourse and i went in, sorta paced around looking at all the things i could do, excited. i settled on starting off easy and got a piece of paper and pencil. i started to draw the girl, then she disappeared and i burst into tears. they for some reason had kate bush playing in the room as background music. I went and sat on the chair next to the speaker, turned it up loud and put my head next to it. and just sobbed.

I spent five minutes in every room i was free to explore, checking ceilings and walls for cctv. not sure why. They had a relaxation room, and i thought it stupid that they had bright red and yellow cushions in there; red and yellow are active colours and aren't relaxing in the slightest!!!

The woman said that tomorrow morning shed like me to do the relaxation class and that she will work with me on some distraction techniques for the voice in the day. I have explained to them I have always heard voices.



I have not explained in detail. I am rather spiritual and mediumistic. I can very easily pick up on spirit and see, hear or communicate with them if theyre around. Do i tell them this?? I don't think this is anything to do with any illness. this is real. and this ive ALWAYS had. I havent decided if he (the horrible voice) is a ghost, but he is either playing on my spirituality, or this is truth.

I have been told that I have gifts available that could end a spiritual war. and he needs to stop me. he needs me dead, either so he can have my oppurtunity, or because he has interest in the side of the war that is evil. he is very evil. evil in his looks, in his words. and he is very powerful.

every day i am getting more tired. Earlier I felt like i was going to pass out from him sucking my energy right out of me. everything went black like it did when you nearly faint.

i need some help and don't know how much I should be telling. my beliefs could all be wrong couldnt they, their could be no ghosts. but i know that not to be true... from proof... but what if i made that up to?

how much do i tell them?



I stand to lose my faith or my life.

and my faith means if I lose my life, ill just get another anyway....so im not all that worried about dying.