Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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deleted_user 11/27/2007

Ok, so maybe this title will work better..

I feel totally forgotten about on this site. Like my threads are to 'weird' for people to comment. I know I am weird, I know I am a bit demented and dark, but aren't some of you, too? My best creative moments come out of the dark, near cutting stages of my bipolar. I know I can be depressing, but isn't that part of the illness? Am I too frickin weird for you all? Don't any of you cut the shit out of yourself just because you want to see yourself bleed? Why do you do it? How do you feel when you do it? And what is more morbid, what do you do with the blood of yours that you spill? Comments welcome. I don't care how bad they are. I am bitchy enough already to have anyone piss me off more. Go ahead, open fire.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I SI also.. I have been wondering if anyone else does here. I do it to so i can find out if i still feel... it stops the fucking hell going on in my brain. Blood I spill is just spilled...it has served it's purpose.

2Fast2KeepUP 11/27/2007

" Usually when I indulge in self-harm it is because I am hurting so bad mentally I was to induce physical pain to keep me from thinking of the mental anguish, even if it is only temporary reprieve

ps posted on your other too, same response so you don't have to go back to your other post

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I cut....did it last night. I'm sorry you feel forgotten. I'll be weird with you if you want!!!

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I've regularly been accused of being dark and brooding. I'm not on here very enough so I don't remember seeing your posts. I'll chat with you any time you want, though.
Greg

KimChick 11/27/2007

I have OCD and I get into moods where all I can think of is sticking pins in my arms. I think about it, and think about it, and dwell on it, and go crazy about it, and don't feel right until I finally stick pins in my arms. I don't draw a lot of blood, but I like the look of a lot of pins in my arms. For some reason, I always have fantasies about cutting my forearms. Sometimes it's a fantasy about cutting my arm with the lid of a can I just opened with a can opener. I want to slice my arm right open. I've never done it, but I think about it all the time. I guess that makes me a little strange, eh? But probably somewhat normal for OCD.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

When I was a teen I used to write notes with the blood. Now I just watch it drip down my arm and over my hands. It makes me feel like a person, that I actually have some worth.

2Fast2KeepUP 11/27/2007

I think I feel more stunned just knowing its my blood flowing and it totally blocks out what I was feeling before I done it.

KimChick 11/27/2007

It doesn't faze me at all to see my own blood. I LOVE to have blood tests, IVs, needles stuck in me - I look forward to them. I actually get giddy when I know that blood will be drawn. I know I'm weird, but it's the absolute truth. I have to watch the needles going in, too. I had a cyst removed on my foot, and I told the doctor I wanted to watch the scalpel cut my foot open. I'm strange, aren't I?

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Don't let this board determine your worth

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Sorry I can't stand the sight of my blood, I vomit.

I self harm in other ways though. I hope you feel better soon HUGS :))

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Hey, commented on your other post like this. Read it...might make you feel a bit better. Don't let it trigger, you, though.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I cut as well. It is the secret relationship I have that no one has a clue about. I do it for a few reasons. 1. When I am flooded with emotion, and can't focus on just one. Cutting erases that. 2. Pain is a way of punishing myself for whatever the reason may be. 3. I like it. 4. Each scar I have is a mark of proof of an emotion I had.....I just let the blood drip, and dry on its own.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Yeah, I like cutting, too. I really do like it.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Never cut...hope that is a symptom I do not take up...we're all weird here so you can not be too weird.

It's all good

deleted_user 11/28/2007

I just read your second post before I read this one...adn now that I have read it...my only response is....

You seriously need some help...seriously. Go to the hospital, do whatever needs to be done...But the way you write...I don't see us helping you much here.

I am a New Yorker too...I also felt the heat of 9/11. I lost family and friends too. I was at school at the time, only a few miles away. Seriously, you scare me with all this. Get some professional help.

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