I've been on short term disability going on for a 3rd week. I've been lonely and sad increasing daily. It's as if I'm stuck with myself and all the crippling thoughts that race through my mind. My fiance is working more to make up for the time I'm losing and thats not making it better. I keep having grandiose thoughts... Its hard to keep them to myself. I think they are such great ideas at the time... then I lose interest and everyone says "she failed at something again" - they may not say it but I know what they're thinking. I'm scared to go back to work too. I got hurt there, and it wasn't anything serious but enough to lay me out for 2 weeks straight. Now I'm feeling better but I'm anxious and scared and worried. I can't sleep. I'm stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. my snow ball worries I call them. It starts simple like a car repair or a money problem... and I can tell you how it will affect my life next week next month..next year..I've gone as far as 10 years... Thats alot of worrying to do all at once. But in my grandiose thinking I've come up with my new 10 year plan. I can't wait to see what it will be next week.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...