I've been on short term disability going on for a 3rd week. I've been lonely and sad increasing daily. It's as if I'm stuck with myself and all the crippling thoughts that race through my mind. My fiance is working more to make up for the time I'm losing and thats not making it better. I keep having grandiose thoughts... Its hard to keep them to myself. I think they are such great ideas at the time... then I lose interest and everyone says "she failed at something again" - they may not say it but I know what they're thinking. I'm scared to go back to work too. I got hurt there, and it wasn't anything serious but enough to lay me out for 2 weeks straight. Now I'm feeling better but I'm anxious and scared and worried. I can't sleep. I'm stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. my snow ball worries I call them. It starts simple like a car repair or a money problem... and I can tell you how it will affect my life next week next month..next year..I've gone as far as 10 years... Thats alot of worrying to do all at once. But in my grandiose thinking I've come up with my new 10 year plan. I can't wait to see what it will be next week.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...