Will I always feel this way? Nothing ever changes. It is always the same thing, one step forward two steps back. I am so tired of being alone and hurting. My soul aches. I feel pain that is so deep within me that I don't even know how to find it and change it. I feel like I'm a lost cause, I'm so far gone and I've been this way for such a long time that I can never ever go back. This is just the way it is and this is the life I have been given but I can't accept it. There has to be something better out there where I am not going to feel pain. I struggle every day with everything. Finances suck, which I realize alot of people are going through but I am on the edge ready to watch every single thing I have fall. My house, car, everything. I can't figure out where to go or what to do but I feel like just running and running until I am so far away. Seems like the further I run the better things get. If I could just get in my car and drive away each mile would feel like a little bit of weight lifted off of me. But I have no where to go. I have no one who understands. I have no one who really cares. I feel so fuckin empty and I'm sinking into a dark pit its just sucking me down.
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