Hi, I am new to the site and although I have already posted to some discussions I thought I would introduce myself. I am a 39F who has been treated for bipolar for give or take 5years now, although now that I look back I have had it forever. I have been in the psych ward 5 times and had roughly 15 ECTs. I attempted suicide last may by taking a ton of lithium and ativan, and am sorry it didn't work. My child found me and that will haunt me forever. I am on abilify, lithium, ativan, lexapro, lamitcal and synthroid. Still I struggle daily. Yeah I do my daily chores and make sure I am done by the time my husband gets home so I look all happy and productive but I hide everything from him. I am miserable and would rather be dead. He just doesn't understand and wants me to snap out of it. Duh, I have been treated for five years and you want me to get over it. I hate him for that. He has told me recently that he has considered divorce since my attempt but thought about our child and didn't do it. I filed for SSI and my Pdoc is 100% behind me, so I have an attorney and am waiting on a court date, hopefully in April. I smoke about a pack a day, don't do street drugs or drink. That is about it for an intro. I look forward to your support.
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