So, my name is Sean!
I'm 18 years old and was just recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2 just before my 18th birthday.

Growing up, I was always very shy and depressive around my family and at school. I never let any of my friends see my bad side, I only let them see the good, the happy Sean. It was pretty bad for awhile, I felt as though I was living two seperate lives, one controlled by addiction the other driven by success. I always found solace in my music, and in writing, and love to do both very much. It's a great way for me to release that inner anxiety and turn it into something tangiable, if that makes any sense :)

Sorry, I'm straying from the point. Anyway, I was recently hospitialzied because I suddenly became very unlike myself, and had my first manic episode. At the time, it was like nothing I've ever experienced, but looking back it was all pretty scary for my family. I got the help I needed, much needed sleep and relaxation. Got on a few good meds which are helping greatly. While in treatment, i wrote a few things I'd like to share with everyone, perhaps inspire and give some hope for the better :)

The first piece is called Clarity, and is about truly opening your mind and discovering yourself and the world around you. It was written at the time I was in a manic episode, but I think captured my feelings very well.

The second is called Escaping Reality. It's about people who always wish they were somewhere else in life, never satisfied. My uncle has bipolar, and has recently divorced my wonderful aunt and is tearing apart their family including their beautiful 5 year old son. It's hurting me to see him like this, and I wrote it to perhaps open his eyes to whats around him.

Well, enough introduction, on with the writings! It's nice to be here, and I look forward to chatting with many of you who have more experience in dealing with this illness. :)


CLARITY

Like never before, I feel life pulsing through me
Feeding to every section, every corner of my being
A shield previously guarding my soul, now stands down
Allowing light to flood its halls,
Forcing the negativity out, slowly, but faster than I can imagine
Echoing in the darkness that once existed,
My voice summons the clarity Ive been yearning for.
My faith is a higher power, fully restored
Completely captivated in beautiful new focus
Suspended, I feel weightless in time and in this moment, I can achieve anything
I have discovered tranquility, peace amidst screaming chaos that is our lives
I have found comfort, serenity in knowing hope can be captured
We all possess the power to seize this feeling,
You first have to know where to look for it.



ESCAPING REALITY

All around us, opportunity escapes our grasp
Reaching out with every ounce of strength we possess
We try to simply hold on, keep our cool
Let it be known, however, that we can never understand what it is like
To walk in each others shoes
We can never just wish we were somewhere else
With someone else, doing something we would rather be doing.
Wishful thinking is only a terrible convex
Gripping us, pulling our innocent selves into emptiness
A black hole in space,
Never giving ourselves a fair chance at truly understanding ourselves
Oh sure we can dream and try to elude reality in every aspect
Conscious or unconscious we are where we are for a reason
And no force on earth, or in the Heavens
Can alter this aspect of this emerging we call our lives
True acceptance can only shine if we want it to
It is not one of those things that simply appears overnight
Love yourself and those around you
And you will discover you are exactly where you want to be