Sometimes it is harder to telll someone I will live for you rather than I'd die for you.
Recently I learned I have CKD (chronic kidney disease). MY eating disorder became worse and how I lost 30 pounds is a miracle.
Moving on there have been times in my life I totally lived for my youngest adult child. I wold LIVE FOR HIM but not for me.
Since being dx with CKD I've had to do a lot of soul searching. I went to the doc today and my percentage is up by 3% to 41% kidney function. It was then I had the epiphany that, after the initial shock of the diagnosis wore off, I started really living FOR ME. I want to live for me and having others in my life who care about me is icing on the cake.
I'm nervous about vacation.Well, not the vacation but getting back from vacation. The vacation plans have been in the works for 2 years. Part of me is nervous about what happens when I get back will there be a let down? Maybe I'm looking for the other shoe to drop. I have to quit thinking that way. I know I need to make some major decisions after vacation. I also know I NEED this vacation to destress and spend time with hubby. Let's put it this way I was ready for 2020 to ring in by February of this year. Yes, I need to destress big time. Ocean here I come. Can't wait until Sunday so much to do though so much to do.
I don’t feel real. Nothing feels real or alive. I just don’t even know what to do for myself anymore. I feel like I can’t survive this I feel like it won’t get better.
I'm a caregiver for my husband, and also help my mother, and mil. Husband has been disabled for 13 yrs. Can't walk well, uses a cane. Refuses to use a wheelchair ever. Aside from the legs cramping and/or shaking, he gets back pain some times. Past week an old shoulder injury flared up. Dr. told him in the past that they couldn't do surgery on it. I suggested he go see our Dr. but he complained...