It sounds to me like she and her family need to get some family counseling. You should suggest this to her parents even if it's uncomfortable for you to do since doing nothing won't help anybody. It might help them process that this is real if they hear it from someone besides the child.

You can also call social services...

You can plant the seed in her by shareing those great ideas that you have with her. That is about it. YOu ae not responsible for her. Her parents are. It is unfortunate that her parents are tslking about a group home for her. That is her problem not yours. I comend you on you efforts to help. but it seems like you are getting in too deep.
It is not your job to do the things you are trying to do. she has to do this herself.

She has been in the hospital 3 times in the last year and the last time the hospital was going to insist on a group home but the mom managed to work them out of it saying she would change her work schedule and stuff... she is trying to understand I think the sisters are the biggest part. That and she doesnt want to burden her mom with anymore stress.

She stayed the weekend with me and its gone well its been a hard weekend for me as my husband is gone and I cant call him if I need to. Just having that tiny bit of my safty net gone even for a short time is a trigger for me. I havent hid my feelings from her and she is seeing its normal and ok for BPers to have moments... but that we have to find coping skills... I asked her over to help me get througth the weekend... she feels useful even in her state of drowning... I hope it has helped, she even got to see my loosing things and helped me look, and keep me from panicing...

It was bad I ordered pizza then couldnt find the check book to pay (my only way to pay too) it worked out lol the pizza man left the pizza and salads and said to call when I found the check book lol... talk about being embarresed

I understand your point Matt and if she was 20 or 30 I would agree... but how at 13 is she suppose to understand what is happening to her. She gets suicidal because she feels so alone and like no one understands or wants to understand. She is actually my daughters God Sister so I feel like she is family. If we as adults struggle to find people around us to understand and be there how is a 13 year old suppose to turn to her peers and family and explain how she feels and wht she needs??? Being BP and understanding I feel that if she commited suicide and was successful that I would have failed her for not trying to help her understand and build her own safty net. I know I cant fix it for her but I feel like I need to at least help her find a way to exsist in her own life.

Sounds like you might need some meds to help with the panic attacks. Have you tried anything or are you currently taking anything for panic? I know Xanax and Ativan have both worked really well for me.

Also, what you are doing with this girl is commendable. Thank you for your efforts from one BP to another. And, you are right. She is 13, not 30, and she shouldn't be exdpected to handle this on her own. Yeah for you!!!

I AGREE WITH mATT. aRE YOU WELL ENOUGH TO TAKE ON ANY MORE SUFFERING. iT IS A HARD DECISION i KNOW, BUT YOU HAVE A FAMILY AND YOURSELF TO CONSIDER. fEW OF US HAVE THE RESOURCES OR MENTAL HEALTH TO TAKE ON SUCH TASKS. Sorry about the caps lock. We can not all be Mother Teresa , but we can start small. By being her friend, you have made that first step. Step carefully on solid ground to continue. Good luck. from 3weasels

I also have to agree with 3weasles... It is ultimately not your fight. Being a friend and mentor is one thing, taking any kind of responsbility is another. You do have your own issues to deal with and too much on any of our plates only causes chaos, as we are all aware of...

For my anxiety and panic attacks I do take xanax and I am at an acceptable place when my life is as it is now.... but take any part of it away and I cant manage. I also dont do well when I loose stuff cause I put it in a safe place and now cant find it. Dont know why its so bad for me there but it is. My husband usually by phone or being here help by calming me and helping me find it.

As for helping my young friend... I do hear you on the being strong enough. I am on the manic side of life so maybe thats why I feel strong enough to tackle the problem or that I can fix it. (Superwoman syndrom) maybe its the mother in me. I do well fixing other peoples problems even when depressed. Im glad my husband is here and wouldnt go for her living with us cause I would do it if he wasnt here. The two families hers and mine live with in a mile of each other so its not like she would be isolated from her family, just not around the triggers of her sibling teasing... She feels like her BP is destroying her relationships with her sisters.

I will try to make sure that I dobnt bite off more then I can chew. For now I have told her she can take a mental health day here at my house once or twice a week for a couple of hours. I told her I maynot be up to entertain her but she could have the peace and quiet that she needs. I take my own personal mental health day where I send my daughter to day care even when I dont work... I think its something we all need.


Maybe for now that will be where I draw my own line.. and just help her by my example.... call her to talk when I just dont want to be alone... obviously not putting to much on her shoulders but showing her that even us BP adults need some one that knows what we are going through.....

I completely identify with the weird nature of panic attacks. Mine come on when I think I might be getting lost while driving or if I'm driving in unfamiliar areas. I get very irritable if my things are not where I put them so I understand that as well.

I'm glad that you can identify that you are manic and thus could be superwoman-ing... I am not as able to squash my reflex to help others as I should be and it often bites me in the butt. I'm learning though...especially now with my daughter. SHE has to be the focus now for me period.

I volunteer to help people with bp. I have learned with exp that people with mental illness's can break your hart. I have been working with a guy for almost a year. and then wham. Now he is gone he just slid off the face of the earth. That is just one. I make this agreement with myself when I deal with a new person . I will be there and help them when I can. I now they are sick and may backslide die or dissapear. Those god are for you, I am here to help where I can the rusults I leave up to you god. May I be of service to you and those who need it.
matt

I volunteer to help people with bp. I have learned with exp that people with mental illness's can break your hart. I have been working with a guy for almost a year. and then wham. Now he is gone he just slid off the face of the earth. That is just one. I make this agreement with myself when I deal with a new person . I will be there and help them when I can. I now they are sick and may backslide die or dissapear. Those god are for you, I am here to help where I can the rusults I leave up to you god. May I be of service to you and those who need it.
matt

Thank you I will definantly keep it in mind. I do deal with my own child that has problems but not BP diagnosed (yet) he internalizes but rage is a definant thing for him. I know I cant fix him but teach him tools to cope with life thats my job as a parent. I do need to remember I cant be mom to my young friend and that she is going to still cycle and probally still crash. Maybe I can just provide a break from her stressors from time to time and take comfort in that.

You're on the right track, Buggy, and you have a good heart. Bless you.