life is crazy and seems to be getting crazier. its crashing down around me and i can't seem to catch my breath. i lost my job over a month ago and still haven't found a new one. it doesn't help that i really have no motivation to find a new one. it takes all i have to just get out of bed. i live with my parents, so i make sure i'm up and looking awake before they get home. that was bad enough. then, today, i found out i wasn't accepted into grad school. my dream is to go to school full time and try to get all these different degrees just cuz i love school. that dream has been taken from me. i fell asleep last night crying and holding a bottle of unisom. i know i should prolly go to the hospital, but i don't want to. i keep thinking its just situational and once i get a job everything will be better... i just need to talk to someone who won't say everything happens for a reason and you just need to get over it and if you just pray harder and you need to spend more time with God and you need to make a list of productive things to do and etc. just getting out of bed is productive for me at this point! my friends don't get it. they don't understand. i'm fighting for my life and i'm almost ready to give up. i know if i keep pushing, it will get better cuz it always does, but i don't think i can take much more. i just need someone to lean on to help me get through. i don't think my friends are close enough to do that. i don't know how to ask for help. i don't know what to do...
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